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Grandparents help daughter with child, but now pulled into legal system

 
Published July 19, 2012

Grandparents in legal maelstrom

After experiencing a taste of the judicial system as a grandparent and resident of Pasco County for more than 39 years, I feel compelled to warn other grandparents who may find themselves in a similar situation.

Nine years ago, our daughter had a child with a man whom she never married. Since that time, my wife and I made a commitment that we would help them any way we could. We are not wealthy and are on a fixed income. Much of what we have given has been our time, energy, guidance and our love.

Our daughter and grandson have struggled. We help when we can. Sometimes we help pay for a needed prescription and often invite them to our home for dinner. Sometimes we give our daughter $20 just so she and our grandson can got to a movie. We helped buy his school supplies.

And then the shock of our lives came. My wife and I are seniors and have never been in the legal system. We have never been arrested or sued and generally try to live our lives to do no harm to others and to keep government our of our lives.

It worked, until now. Our grandson's father instituted a court action against our daughter for custody and child support. He hired a local attorney who decided he wanted all our financial information. He took a deposition from my wife and myself. After being questioned relentlessly about our finances, we got our own lawyer. Even with a lawyer and over our objections, a judge ordered us to turn over all our bank information from the past three years. To appeal would have cost well into the thousands of dollars.

This is a case between our grandson's mother and father. As grandparents in Florida, we have no rights to our grandchildren. Grandparents, beware. If you help your children or grandchildren in any way financially, you could be swept into the court system and forced to provide private, confidential financial information to someone who never married your child.

Something needs to change.

Richard Lashley, New Port Richey