Sunday, July 15, 2018
Opinion

Time for Trump to direct his attacks to white dudes

Great news, everyone. A presidential candidate's character no longer matters.

At least that's what Republican National Committee chairman Reince Priebus said when asked whether Donald Trump's penchant for insulting women might hurt the presumptive presidential nominee in the election: "All these stories that come out, and they come out every couple of weeks, people just don't care."

Yeah, nobody cares about stuff like sexism or xenophobia or lying. That stuff's stupid.

All that "Megyn Kelly is being mean because she's menstruating" and "Carly Fiorina is ugly" and "Hillary Clinton is only winning the Democratic primary because she's a woman" stuff is apparently meaningless to real American voters, female or otherwise.

Asked to address a weekend New York Times story that detailed Trump's history of sexist behavior, Priebus told ABC's This Week that "there are things from many years ago and I think that, you know, as Christians, judging each other I think is problematic."

Another excellent point, Reince. Christians are not known for being judgmental. And judging others is problematic, unless of course we're talking about Crooked Hillary Clinton and her long record of dishonesty, law-breaking, sexism, murder, lesbianism, traitorous behavior, yelling, back stabbing, possibly being from outer space and doing literally everything wrong.

The bottom line here is that Trump insulting Mexicans (rapists) and Muslims (get out!) and black people (shared a tweet that incorrectly stated black people kill 81 percent of white homicide victims) and Asians (spoke broken English while pretending to be Asian) and Iowans (asked, "How stupid are the people of Iowa?") and people with disabilities (mocked a reporter with a disability) and prisoners of war ("I like people who weren't captured") and Jewish people (invoked Jewish stereotypes throughout a speech to the Republican Jewish Coalition) will not matter because nobody cares about such things.

As Alabama Sen. Jeff Sessions, an avid Trump backer, said on This Week: "People have not expected purity on his part."

That's why those dopey polls showing that about 70 percent of women view Trump unfavorably and 80 percent or more of Latinos view him unfavorably and about 60 percent of everyone views him unfavorably are total meaningless garbage.

Still, I'm sure there are some dummies out there who want to believe voters give a horse's patootie about whether a presidential candidate is comfortable insulting large swaths of the population.

Trump needs to find a way to prove that what Priebus and Sessions are saying is correct.

As a hardcore Trump supporter, I've got an idea. #TrumpTrain #IAmHereToHelp

Since voters clearly don't care about insults, Trump needs to make it impossible to claim he only targets certain people. That means it's time to throw some barbs at one of the few groups he hasn't offended: white dudes.

As a white dude, I'm uniquely qualified to assist Mr. Trump in this endeavor, which will undoubtedly show the pointy-headed liberal PC crowd that the candidate knows the entire voting public can take a joke.

First off, there are a few basic slurs Trump can use while addressing one of his predominantly white rallies. Any of these lines will work:

"What a fine bunch of crackers we have out here today!"

"Are you blue-eyed devils ready to Make America Great Again?"

"Look at bubba, bleach boy and dandruff over here, I bet they earn considerably more than women who do the same job!"

The latter part of the last line is another good way to playfully poke fun at white guys — they hate it when you bring up the gender pay gap. But don't worry, they're not looking for purity from Mr. Trump. They just want a strong outsider who says what's on his mind.

A good thing for the candidate to have on his mind is a joke. He might want to consider tweeting this: "Why can't white guys play chess? Because they think all the white pieces can be kings!"

Boom! I'm sure Trump's 8 million or so Twitter followers will love that one since they know stereotyping is just part of the mogul's entertaining, shoot-from-the-hip style.

I took another good joke I found on the Internet and modified it to fit the Trump campaign: "Why can't white men jump? Because they're too busy trying to prove Donald Trump's sexism, racism and xenophobia won't matter to voters!"

Hilarious!

Am I right?

Chicago Tribune (TNS)

Comments
Romano: The best politician in Tampa Bay is not a politician

Romano: The best politician in Tampa Bay is not a politician

Some politicians bark, and some like to preen. It’s all part of an elaborate act to attract attention and create an image.But the very best politicians?They don’t act like politicians at all.I was reminded of that last week while watching Pinellas Co...
Published: 07/13/18
Updated: 07/14/18
Editorial: A vote for preserving waterfront parks by St. Petersburg City Council

Editorial: A vote for preserving waterfront parks by St. Petersburg City Council

The St. Petersburg City Council made the appropriate but difficult decision to reject a contract with renowned artist Janet Echelman for one of her aerial sculptures. It would be wonderful for the city to have one of her signature works, but Spa Beac...
Published: 07/13/18

‘Everybody needed to know what happened’

The brutal murder of Emmett Till, a black Chicago youth, in Mississippi nearly 63 years ago went unpunished, but not forgotten. A decision by his mother, Mamie Till-Mobley, to allow an open casket at Emmett’s Chicago funeral represented an act of def...
Published: 07/13/18
Brink: Extending the Suncoast Parkway has gone from boondoggle to folly

Brink: Extending the Suncoast Parkway has gone from boondoggle to folly

In a few short weeks, the Suncoast 2 toll road project has gone from boondoggle to folly.State officials pitched the 13-mile extension of the Suncoast Parkway as a step toward eventually linking the road to Interstate 75 near Ocala via a project dubb...
Published: 07/13/18
Daniel Ruth: Rays stadium dream masks the sticker shock

Daniel Ruth: Rays stadium dream masks the sticker shock

Close your eyes and dream. It is October 2023 or so and the Tampa Bay Rays are up 3-0 in the World Series against the Chicago Cubs. The game is being played in the Rays new stadium, Goldman Sachs, Bank of America, Credit Suisse, George Soros, Vinny’s...
Published: 07/13/18

Brooks: The quiet death of racial progress

Over the past few months, I’ve been trying to write a comforting column. The thesis was going to be that even though Donald Trump is doing his best to inflame racial division, we are still making gradual progress against racism and racial disparities...
Published: 07/12/18
Updated: 07/13/18
Pam Bondi: The Senate should confirm Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh

Pam Bondi: The Senate should confirm Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh

I personally know appeals court Judge Brett Kavanaugh, who has been nominated by President Donald Trump to succeed retiring Justice Anthony Kennedy on the U.S. Supreme Court. To call him qualified for the role is a massive understatement.A graduate o...
Published: 07/12/18
Column: The test for Judge Kavanaugh

Column: The test for Judge Kavanaugh

So it’s Judge Brett Kavanaugh. There will be time enough to explore the nominee’s views and record. Let’s step back a bit and get some perspective on the national debate that we are about to have.Those on the left fear, and those on the right hope, t...
Published: 07/12/18
Column: A liberal’s case for Brett Kavanaugh

Column: A liberal’s case for Brett Kavanaugh

The nomination of Judge Brett Kavanaugh to be the next Supreme Court justice is President Donald Trump’s finest hour, his classiest move. A few days ago, the president promised to select "someone with impeccable credentials, great intellect, unbiased...
Published: 07/12/18
Editorial: Personal bias taints Florida’s clemency system

Editorial: Personal bias taints Florida’s clemency system

A recent exchange between the governor and Cabinet and a felon seeking to have his civil rights restored underscores the arbitrary unfairness of Florida’s clemency system. A long waiting period, a ridiculous backlog of cases and elected officials who...
Published: 07/11/18
Updated: 07/13/18