MAURICE RIVENBARK | Times
Why abortion. "I don't think other people could understand how set you could get in your thinking. You're like, Oh, they're going to make me leave. It's a big deal to people who are in. It's a large sense of failure."
Not quite 2 weeks old. Megan was born June 1. "I'm afraid I'm going to smother her with the exact opposite of what I had. I"m going to smother her with love. As soon as she started kicking I just felt this connection to her."

Sunny Pereira

Age: 37
Sea Org: Joined at age 15, in 1988; left in 2004.
Married: at age 21
Abortions: in 1994 and 2001
Today: Married with a newborn child. Lives in Dallas, works as a restaurant manager.

"There's a lot of blaming myself ... I got really depressed after the first one and still went through with the second one. That's something that I just still don't understand."

BY JOE CHILDS and THOMAS C. TOBIN, Times Staff Writers

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