Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Buffalo Bills: Gimme 5

Talk of the town

Five topics suitable for inane debate on talk radio.

1. Derrick Brooks should be grateful he's gone: Okay kids, think hard about this one. This is the worst Tampa Bay defense since ___. Is it 1993? Or '89? Or, good heavens, the Leeman Bennett years? Going back to last year, the Bucs have allowed six running backs to go over 100 yards in the past six games. Fred Jackson is the latest scrub to turn into Walter Payton against them.

2. Money matters: Remember when money was no object to the Glazers? Now it seems like the only object. Until this team starts winning, the fact the Glazers have spent less on player salaries than any other team the last half dozen seasons will remain an issue.

3. Anyone have a mirror?: Aqib Talib threw a sideline fit when Sabby Piscitelli got beat deep for a TD last week but was more subdued when he got beat himself this week. Maybe he was just tired from running after Terrell Owens.

4. Dipstick diva: You've got to know the Owens era is not going to end well. I don't know that I've ever seen a more selfish, petulant, whiny, self-absorbed athlete. Other than pro bowlers, of course.

5. Now warming in the bullpen … : The defense is not good enough to keep the Bucs competitive and Byron Leftwich is not going to suddenly learn how to throw a touch pass at age 29. So count on Josh Freeman to be in the lineup by Nov. 8.

A list of five

Five signs you have an inferior team.

5. Still can't figure out how this huddle thing works.

4. The referee backpedals faster than the defensive backs.

3. You call an audible on the kickoff.

2. Kanye West says Jeff Jagodzinski has a better playbook.

1. Opponent asks if you have a defensive line.

Five ways to blow a game

1. Get on a first-name basis with the referee. The Bucs had four face masks, four false starts and something called an illegal touch penalty, which sounds more like a personal issue.

2. Spot the other team a 17-0 lead. The Bucs like to run. Actually, need to run. And that's hard to do when you fall behind. After calling nine running plays and 10 passing plays to open the game, the Bucs had nine running plays and 43 passing plays the rest of the way.

3. Either run the wrong routes, or throw like a drunk. Don't know whether it was the fault of the receivers or Leftwich, but some of those passes looked as if they didn't even have a target.

4. Act as if you've never heard the term "blitz." The offense never made Buffalo pay for its myriad blitzes, and the defense never came close to making Trent Edwards nervous about the blitz.

5. Show up with $30 million in salary cap space. Have we mentioned this before?

Five super picks

Checking out the best bets for Super Bowl XLIV in Miami.

1. Saints: Do you suppose Drew Brees is already dreaming about facing the Bucs defense?

2. Jets: Rex Ryan has his dad's big mouth. He may also have his defensive acumen.

3. Vikings: Brett Favre starts his 271st consecutive game. The Bucs have had 15 starting quarterbacks in that time.

4. Giants: Plaxico Burress would give up conjugal visits for a chance to play the Bucs.

26. Bucs: Awful defense. Awful offense. Awful special teams. Okay, maybe it wasn't that bad but, man, it wasn't good.

Final five words

Didn't miss any field goals!