GS: As near as I can tell, John, there have been 42 billion stories about the Super Bowl this year, and 11 of them didn't even contain the word "Roethlisberger." But I still don't know what you, the last man to actually do the Super Bowl Shuffle, thinks about this week.
JR: I think I'm going to snap if I hear about any more D-list celebrity sightings. The Church of Scientology cafeteria in Clearwater has better star power than this Super Bowl. Seriously, have you been around a big game with so little buzz?
GS: Yeah, I know what you mean. Except for Bruce Springsteen, our hero, the rest of the celebrities are what you would expect at a Paula Abdul touch football game. Until Wednesday, I thought they were holding the St. Petersburg Bowl again.
JR: Chances are, it's the economy. But it could also be the incredibly dull nature of these two teams. Can't the NFL require at least one loud, obnoxious, pompous performer be at every Super Bowl? I mean, other than Chris Berman.
GS: You get grumpy after a week with lousy wireless service, don't you? I'm not used to hearing insults like that. At least, not unless I'm reading a story about former Bucs talking about Jon Gruden. Would you rather they brought the Giants and Patriots back to play again?
JR: I would like a little personality. A little sizzle. The Steelers and Cardinals have been polite, accommodating, practically endearing. Just not very entertaining. Will the game be any better?
GS: Maybe I'm being foolish, which is often the case, but I think it can be. No one is more exciting to watch than Larry Fitzgerald. If the Cardinals can make this a game, it could be fun. And if they can win, it could be a classic. Nothing against Pittsburgh, but more people would remember the Cardinals winning than the Steelers. Agreed?
JR: Absolutely. A Cardinals victory would be on the pedestal with the Jets and Giants for greatest Super Bowl upsets. Joe Maddon said Arizona's postseason run is even more remarkable than Tampa Bay's journey to the World Series. I'm not sure I agree, but it's certainly in the same neighborhood.
GS: Ah, Joe was being nice. The Cardinals didn't have to compete in a division where everyone else spends five times more than they do. But given the history of the franchise, it would be amazing to see. It would be the biggest upset since Christie Brinkley married Billy Joel.
JR: Um, Julia Roberts marrying Lyle Lovett?
GS: Lisa Logan marrying John Romano?
JR: You're right, sometimes guys get lucky. So what about the Cardinals? I say, like the Rays, they fall short of historic. What's your call?
GS: I think the Steelers are better, but I thought the same about the Falcons, the Panthers and the Eagles. So I'm going to go with the best story. Arizona wins in the biggest upset since some jughead decided that paper beats rock.