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GIMME 5

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Gimme 5

Talk of the town

Five topics suitable for inane debate on talk radio.

An aberration or an omen? From 2000-09, 17 teams had turnarounds of six victories or more. Fourteen of those teams fell backward the following season. Last season's big turnarounds? The Bucs, Rams and Chiefs. All three are 0-1 today.

Best Lions team in decades: You better hope so because you'd hate to think the Bucs defense just got slapped around by a bunch of stiffs. Among Detroit's first seven possessions were drives of 76, 70, 80, 84 and 70 yards.

Offseason tampering: NFL says the Bucs cheated. Couldn't they have cheated better?

Young pass rushers: Matthew Stafford didn't get sacked on any of his 33 pass attempts. I swear Bucs linemen were counting three Mississippis on half of those passes.

Two-minute drill: There will be calls today for the Bucs to play in a hurry-up offense all the time. Forget it. LeGarrette Blount is not part of the two-minute offense, and the Bucs need him to run the ball if they're going to get anywhere in 2011.

A list of five

Five ways the Bucs can turn things around.

5. Publish a book blaming Colin Powell.

4. Call Desmond Jennings up from Triple A.

3. High scorer on Angry Birds gets to play quarterback.

2. Look up the definition of salary cap.

1. Clone Calvin Johnson.

Five grades for offseason moves

Michael Koenen: Tampa Bay's large investment in a punter/kickoff specialist looked mighty smart on Sunday. Koenen was 3-for-3 on touchbacks (including one from the 20) and averaged 52.2 yards on five punts. Premature grade: A.

Barrett Ruud: Had an impressive 14 tackles for the Titans on Sunday. Mason Foster, his replacement, had six tackles in his debut but didn't get many chances because the Bucs were in a nickel package most of the day. Premature grade: Incomplete.

Ticket prices: Should have been lowered more. Final grade: Greedy.

Cadillac Williams: Gained 91 yards on 19 carries and had another 49 yards receiving for the Rams. The Bucs do not appear to have an honest-to-goodness change-of-pace back. Premature grade: D

Adrian Clayborn and Da'Quan Bowers: A combined one tackle for the Bucs' top two draft picks. Premature grade: Parent-teacher conference requested.

Five super picks

Checking out the best bets for Super Bowl XLVI in Indianapolis.

1. Packers: How long before it's renamed the McCarthy Trophy?

2. Saints: One yard away from the top spot.

3. Ravens: Gotta like anyone beating up Ben Roethlisberger.

4. Eagles: Even with all those pesky free agents.

14. Bucs: At least they kept up with the rest of the NFC South.

Final five words

(Courtesy of Dr. Seuss)

"I quote: Stink, stank, stunk."

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Gimme 5 09/12/11 [Last modified: Monday, September 12, 2011 12:23am]
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