Thursday, May 24, 2018
Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Tom Jones doles out gifts to the Tampa Bay sports scene

Good morning. Happy holidays. Merry Christmas. • As you open your presents this morning, and drink your eggnog and watch A Christmas Story over and over, think about how lucky little Ralphie was to get that official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle! • Now let's think about our sports stars and personalties and what we can get them this Christmas Day.

Steven Stamkos

Nice luggage for that move to Toronto. Kidding! I think. Maybe not. … Long underwear? Flip flops? A touque? Golf clubs? Ear muffs? Sun screen? Rays season tickets? Blue Jays? … Okay, I have no idea what to get Stamkos because he, his agent or Steve Yzerman won't tell us.

Evan Longoria

A time machine to take him back to find his bat from 2009.

Lovie Smith

A secondary that doesn't include retreads from his Chicago Bears days. In other words, a real secondary.

Jason Licht

His turn on the clock and the highest-rated player on his draft board being a pass rusher.

Willie Taggart

A thank-you note (with an apology) from all the Bulls fans who wanted him fired after USF's 1-3 start. Sorry, USF fans, you have a good football coach. Like it or not.

Chris Archer

One extra run a game.

Ben Bishop

One extra goal a game.

Jameis Winston

To follow up his sensational rookie season with a quiet and boring offseason. Here, Jameis, play Xbox for the next, oh, six months.

Matt Silverman

An owner who gives him a couple of extra bucks to play with.

Stuart Sternberg

A couple of extra bucks.

Jon Cooper

Health to his kids. And when we say "kids,'' we mean the Triplets.

Florida coach Jim McElwain

Something nice from the Quarterback Store.

FSU coach Jimbo Fisher

He'll have what Jim McElwain is having.

Victor Hedman

A new mantle to someday display the Norris Trophy.

Mark Richt

A supportive fan base … for the first time in his career.

Gerald McCoy

A thick skin to ignore all the nincompoops in town who still think this guy isn't an elite player.

Kevin Cash

A sudden case of dyslexia so he can backward read all the front-office charts on when to pull starting pitchers.

Doug Martin

A pen, a truckload of dough and a permanent locker at One Buc Place.

Dick Vitale

Another 10 years sitting courtside calling games on ESPN. And the energy to keep up his fight against pediatric cancer. And, you know, you could help him by donating at DickVitaleOnline.com.

Kwon Alexander

Stay away from the energy drinks by getting all hopped on this case of Mountain Dew.

Jose Fernandez

Being in a different NCAA regional from UConn. In other words, a Final Four appearance.

Jeff Vinik

What do you get for a guy who has everything?

Orlando Antigua

What do you get for a guy who needs everything?

Joe Maddon

Sorry, Rays fans, but this really is a Good Joe who deserves to win a World Series with the Cubs. Hey, they're gonna win one someday. Wouldn't you like to see one of our guys do it?

Tampa Bay sports fans

A new Rays stadium. … Another Lightning Cup run. … A new Rays stadium. … A Bucs playoff spot. … A new Rays stadium. ... Sorry, but they really want a new Rays stadium. St. Pete. Tampa. We don't care where. As long as it's not in Montreal. Please. Pretty please. We promise we won't put our eye out!

     
 
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