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Tom Jones' Two Cents: Sports figures who need to get a clue

Get a clue! What the heck is going on the past couple of weeks? Some people are opening their mouths when they shouldn't. Some are staying quiet when they should talk. Some are doing things they shouldn't do, while others are not doing something when they should. These people need to get a clue.

LeBron James

Shake hands like a man after you lose. King LeBron, apparently, is too competitive to congratulate the Magic after it beat him. Yet he doesn't seem to have any hangups about shaking hands after he wins. And exactly whom does he shake hands with after he wins? I'll tell you whom: good sports with a little class and grace who actually have the guts to talk to the media after the game, too.

Danica Patrick

Ohhhh, okay, so you were only joking about using a performance-enhancing drug if you could get away with it. Now we get it. Oh, that's funny, Dani. Stop, no more, please, our sides are hurting. We haven't laughed this hard since Roger Clemens testified before Congress.

Raheem Morris

You're really thinking about signing Plaxico Burress? Are you serious? A gun-toting malcontent who can't drive properly and is habitually late for meetings and might be facing jail time? Who would've thought the Bucs would become the Raiders of the East after Jon Gruden left the team?

Urban Meyer

Cornerback Janoris Jenkins became the 24th Gators player to be arrested on Meyer's watch. Maybe the school should think about renaming the annual Orange & Blue spring game The Longest Yard.

Charles Barkley

Chuck, I want to like you, man, but you just cannot use the word you used on the air late Saturday night during TNT's Inside the NBA, just a few minutes after you used another word not fit for broadcast. To quote Barkley himself, "That's tuuurible.''

Manny Ramirez

Despite what your lame-brain owner says, just come out and say that you're not playing in the All-Star Game so all those idiots out there will stop voting for you. You don't deserve to play in the game anyway. Actually, Manny, come out and say something about … anything.

Andy Roddick

Another major (French Open) and another exit to a player ranked below him. This guy has won one Grand Slam tournament in his career and that was six years ago. He hasn't even reached a major final in three years. He's 26 and already seems about 14 months from teaching tennis to rich old ladies at some swanky beach club.

Augie Garrido

The Texas baseball coach kept reliever Austin Wood in a game for nearly 13 innings during the Longhorns' 3-2, 25-inning victory against Boston College in the NCAA Tournament. I don't care what the situation is, how well the kid is pitching or what the kid tells you about staying in the game. You are the adult here. No way you let a kid throw 169 pitches a day after he pitched in another game. Shame on you.

The Rays

Exactly how far behind do you guys have to be before you acquire a legitimate closer?

THE NHL

We missed the first period of Tuesday night's Game 3 of the Stanley Cup final because we couldn't find Versus on our television. Listen, Gary Bett-man, if you don't have the number, just call directory assistance for Bristol, Conn., and ask for E-S-P-N.

Tom Jones' Two Cents: Sports figures who need to get a clue 06/03/09 [Last modified: Wednesday, June 3, 2009 7:37am]
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