STORY BY KELLY PRICE, Durant High
PHOTOS BY MARION WOLFE, Gibbs High

Are you tired of seeing more skin in your high school hallway than in a newborn hospital nursery? Yeah, we are, too. So we’re here to show you scantily-clad teenagers that, despite popular belief, it is possible to be cute during homecoming spirit week without having to wear that thick belt you call a skirt. Berkeley Preparatory junior Jordan Weber models how to rock five spirit week themes.

Monday: Nerd Day
Ah, Nerd Day, the day we all embrace our inner geek. The day even World of Warcraft addicts are in style. The day we make uncool look cool. Jordan’s nerd outfit consists of simple khaki shorts and a polo shirt, complete with suspenders, taped glasses, clunky sandals and crooked pigtails. If the khaki/collared shirt combo doesn’t work for you, emulate Steve Urkel’s 1990s look: awkward high-water pants, colored cardigans, plaid shirts, brightly colored suspenders, thickly framed spectacles and penny loafers. This is the easiest spirit week outfit to put together because most of our closets contain fashion faux pas we’d like to forget. Glasses, another staple, are easily attained via your mom or dad and their middle-aged eyes. From here, just slap some tape on the bridge and voila! Geekiness galore.

Tuesday: Jersey Shore Day
If only there were a way to bring the Situation to our high school cafeteria — he’s so much more juicy than mystery meat. Lucky for us, our model bears an eerie resemblance to Snooki Polizzi of Jersey Shore, though Jordan’s much more attractive and without Oompa Loompa-orange skin, of course. Defying dress code, she rocks a sparkly sheer top over a black tank, a cheetah miniskirt, bedazzled heels and plenty of gold jewelry to channel Snooks in this get-up. If you’re hoping to look like Jersey Shore cast members this spirit week, it’s safe to say a stop at Goodwill is in your future, for faux-gold bangles, Bump-Its, crucifix bling, any tiny pieces of clothing stitched from black and/or cheetah print fabrics. If not, borrowing an Ed Hardy T-shirt from your English class’ resident tool is not only acceptable, but also encouraged. And don’t forget your red Solo cups, juiceheads!

Wednesday: Decades Day
This one is inspiration for everybody who has dressed up as a ’70s hippie each year since freshman year. Here, Jordan transforms into a ’20s flapper with a fringed skirt, black tank top, fishnet tights, show choir shoes, feather boa and headband. Even though this was a promiscuous look back then, this easily could be the classiest decades-day interpretation in your school’s courtyard. Make it classier with dark red lipstick. Since most of the Millennial Generation associate lipstick with grandma’s kisses, remember a red Sharpie is not temporary. This look should be available at any reused clothing store. Or if your funds are lacking after going all-out for other spirit week days, don’t be afraid to rummage through Nana’s closet.

Thursday: Harry Potter Day
Screw Hermione and those horrid plaid skirts and her frizzy mad-witch hair. Who says you can’t rock the full cloak/tie/khakis/wire-frame glasses combo and still be sexy? Jordan models the HP-like ensemble here, complete with a wand and Harry scar drawn on with eyeliner. If you haven’t been to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter yet — cough, loser — you can get a wand and cape or cloak at a local costume store and probably at a secondhand store. For an extended-potions student look, carry around an old beat-up textbook or random beakers of smoking liquids. Just don’t wait around for a Hogwarts acceptance letter. Or try running into any brick walls to get to the alternate-universe train station.

Friday: School Spirit Day
We’ve seen everything from bodies fully painted in school colors to feathered humans mimicking mascots. This is what high school is all about: making a fool of yourself in the name of school pride. But you don’t have to get quite that extreme. Jordan lucked out — she’s a cheerleader. School spirit is, like, in her blood. And on her face (thanks to the ever-versatile face paint). Anybody can draw paws or letters on their cheeks and arms and legs and stomach, though. For those of us who aren’t as blessed with the gift of flip, make your own shirt declaring your dedication. Go to a fabric store, buy a yard of a cute design in your school’s colors and cut out letters to glue to a similarly colored T-shirt. Everybody will be jealous. Even the cheerleaders.