By Olivia Smith, St. Petersburg High

1. Vinny needs to stop being a little b*** and stay, or leave for good.

2. Every time Snookie gets dressed, Tim Gunn cries.

3. Every time she gets undressed, her parents cry.

4. Sammie “sweetheart” is actually acting like a sweetheart this season.

5. Millionares tend to not work in tee-shirt shops.

6. GTL should be changed to GTSOLTBPC (gym, tan, send out laundry to be professionally cleaned). Seriously, the guido's managers couldn't put a washer and dryer in the contract?

7. Dear Ryder, You are not on this show, and by sleeping with everyone except Ronnie, you have ensured you never will be more than a joke. That sounds harsh, but you needed to hear that.

8. It is time for Ronnie to fess up about the steroids he hides in his pillowcase.

9. Deena needs to repeat eighth-grade health class so she can remember how to “do” safe sex.

10. The people in the editing room conveniently and obviously crop out (most of) the paparazzi.

11. Pauly D was born in 1980! That is three years BEFORE The Breakfast Club!

12. Have you ever tried watching the show from the perspective of the cast's future love-children?

14. Sammi is actually really pretty but looks 10 years older every time she whips out the bronzer.

15. Giannis seems like way too nice a guy for Miss Snookie.

16. Jenny is taken for granted constantly, and she is one of the only tolerable roommates.

17. By the way, she is so cute with Roger, but the producers won't let that last.

18. Why are millionaires sleeping on wooden twin beds?

19. Seconds after the cast is on the porch smoking or falling over drunk, a PSA comes on discouraging the exact behavior MTV is promoting.

20. How is it possible that Jersey Shore is still on, while Community may be canceled?