We’ve heard about adorable hearts drawn in the sand with the question, “Prom?” etched inside. And about a guy from King High who hired a banner plane to fly his prom plea overhead. But not everyone can take time to stage a beach “ask” or pay for aircraft, so tb-two* is here to inspire the prom-challenged with our PROM CLASSIFIEDS. We asked some good-natured souls to bare those souls in public and do one of two things: 1) Ask a specific date out here on our pages or 2) Seek a date to prom by advertising themselves in a classified ad. Go out on a limb, we said. Maybe even ask somebody famous. The results are sweet, gutsy, humorous and FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. Disclaimer: tb-two* will not play any part in making matches; for that you’re on your own.     

(Check out another James Franco plea here.)

Reported by Molinseai Elcius, Lakewood High; Chloe Eidge, Durant High; Tori Lawhorn, Newsome High; William Harvey, King High; and Rachel Mowat, Hillsborough High

HELP ME SAY GOODBYE
Hello there! I’m Lucy. This year, many of my friends are graduating and moving pretty far away. Prom is the last time we will ever be in high school together. However, there is one catch: I am unable to go to prom because I’m an underclassman. I am looking (yes) for someone tall, dark and handsome. I cannot drive, however, I can provide gas money. I’m pretty entertaining and have a good sense of humor, so even at first it won’t be terribly awkward. I’m energetic and won’t let you fall asleep till at least 3 in the morning. I’m creative, so if you get bored at prom, I can pull out my list of handy-dandy things to do around Tampa. I have a lot of friends, so we can always get a big group together if you want to. I can demonstrate my spectacular dance moves such as the Shopping Cart, the Sprinkler or the Running Man. Or, if you’d prefer, I can do none of those things and simply sway back and forth. I can make a very good impression on parents and am very photogenic for the 300 pictures they plan on taking of us. I look good in any color, so whatever funky design you have planned, I can definitely pull it off. Either way, we’ll have a great time at prom together!

Lucy White, Newsome High junior

PLEASE?
You’re beautiful and amazing. And gorgeous. I’m goofy, intelligent. I like to play basketball. I’m interested in biology. Come to think of it, we both have that goofy thing in common. Like we’re both goofy and outspoken. Nacuya Lewis, will you go to prom with me?

Ernest Clayton, Lakewood High senior

WANTED: JAMES FRANCO
Smart, attractive and outgoing senior female at St. Pete High looking for James Franco to take her to the prom. Other prospects need not respond. Prefer the version of Franco as seen on General Hospital or the face of Gucci; Spring Breakers Franco may be considered as last resort (even though I was an extra for a day, pretending to be on spring break out at the beach). On April 20 pictures and dinner will begin at 5:30 p.m.; prom will take place at the Coliseum in St. Petersburg. As for my dress and coordinating your outfit, you can call and we can talk about that. I’m a great dancer, and hilarious. You won’t regret responding to this ad (or my Tweets or even my call, if you give me your number). I can assure you that your time will not be wasted should you agree to take me to my senior prom.

Angela Skane, St. Petersburg High senior

WANTED: BEST FRIENDS, NO DRAMA
I really don’t want to go to senior prom by myself, but at the same time I don’t want a guy date because I feel like it’ll cause drama. So I’m looking to find a special way to ask my best friends Rebecca Formeller and Leanne Scott to prom, and see their faces when it is like some big, really overly dramatic situation where they’re just like, “Uh? Okay.”

They’ve been through everything with me since freshman year. They’ve seen the worst side of me, the best side of me, and they support me. I kind of have a smart mouth, I’m kind of cocky, I’m interesting, I’m very outgoing, I’m not afraid to make a fool of myself. Obviously; I’m doing this. Me and Leanne are both crazy, and out there, and me and Rebecca, I think because we’re so very opposite, we work very well together. She helps me calm down and stay grounded, and I help her get wild. I’m really into cheesy things, so I might do a scavenger hunt for them to find letters that spell, “Will you go to prom with me?” Something long and complicated. Or maybe I will write a poem with key words that would bold out and say Prom? Something cheesy. Like this ad.

Cynthia Lugo, Lakewood High senior

AVAILABLE, LIKES TO DANCE:
6 ft 4, blond hair blue eyed senior, very muscular figure, highly athletic, possible D1 football recruit, hilarious, amazing personality, enjoys long walks on the beach to reflect. Hobbies include working at animal shelters saving puppies and kittens. Enjoys spending long nights playing Just Dance on the Wii. Possibly looking for a future Wii partner. Promising the most memorable prom night of all time.

Ryan Kiehlmeier, Durant High senior

WHY NOT ME
I’m very lovable, nice, pretty, friendly, happy, have a great personality. I like to play sports, all of them. But especially track and soccer. Half of the cute guys out here have girlfriends, or they don’t even know if they are going to prom yet. My date will have to be at least 6 feet cause I’m 5’ 8’’ and I like to wear heels — the 4-inch heels. My date will have to look good and be built. I have a peach dress, it’s a princess dress. I want him to wear white with a peach tie. What makes me unique? My ‘I don’t care attitude.’ And, just look at me. I’m pretty!

Alexis Goodridge, Lakewood High senior