BY KATE FUEYO    |   Tampa Preparatory

The Hobbit has found the ring and the French Revolution is over. New year, new movies, which is not always a good thing. With studios saving the big-budget crowd draws for summer and winter break, January has always been an infamously bad time at the box office. Here are four January flicks on the stinky list, plus the one that might break the pattern.

Texas Chainsaw 3D
Out now, Starring Alexandra Daddario, Dan Yeager, Trey Songz
Why It Stinks: Girl goes back to hometown to collect family inheritance, is stalked, friends die gruesomely, etc. Throw in a famous singer to co-star and some blood splatters, and you have a mediocre movie. You and I have seen this before, and not just because this a sequel to the already campy 1974 original and the other 2003 remake/sequel. I mean, let’s face it, this is Florida. We have better entertainment on the side of the road every day.

A Haunted House
Friday , Starring Marlon Wayans, Essence Atkins
Why It Will Stink:  Hey! It’s a parody of found-footage horror movies, such as Paranormal Activity! What could go wrong? Unfortunately, there’s a difference between good parody and early January cash cows, and this film appears to be the latter. Does anyone remember the long-awaited Twilight parody Vampires Suck? Yeah, I don’t, either, and the fact that it was critically and commercially panned  didn’t help. With this film appearing to be in the same vein, it’ll be at best a way to waste two hours and at worst a waste of money.

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters
Jan. 25, Starring Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton
Why It Will Stink: Fairy tale reboots are the trend right now, and this mediocre concept is following on the heels of the two equally mediocre Snow White adaptations of 2012. And although this action/horror fest has the benefit of a recognizable celebrity in one of its leads (Jeremy Renner of The Avengers — hey, Hawkeye, you’ve upgraded to a crossbow!), the strange premise will probably lead to more raised eyebrows than popcorn-munching. Judging by the abundance of gore in the trailer, it’s a strange mix of slasher and supernatural that will make some queasy audience members choke on their slushies.

The Last Stand
Jan. 18, Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger
Why It Will Stink: Hey, it’s Schwarzenegger’s big comeback role! It’s his first big thing since Terminator 3! And he’s playing a sheriff stopping a stereotypical Mexican drug cartel, with a band of wacky sidekicks. Terribly original. Really. Don’t get me wrong, I love old Arnold as much as the next guy or girl, but even his biggest fans know he’s not going to win any Oscars for this gun-brandishing, shoot-em-up fun. And Schwarzenneger’s signature accent sounds way out of place next to his redneck co-stars, including a skimpily clad girl he’ll probably be in love with by the end of the movie. At least nostalgic audience members can yell Terminator jokes, although they might not be heard above the explosions. No air freshener needed!

Struck by Lightning
Out Friday , Starring Chris Colfer, Rebel Wilson
Why It Might Not Stink: Although Glee fans will recognize actor Chris Colfer, the actor and now screenwriter moves well beyond his famous character Kurt in this new flick. The movie is told as a flashback after Colfer’s character, Carson Phillips, is struck by a bolt of lightning and dies. (Not a spoiler, people, this is in the opening scene.) With leading man Colfer working off his own snarky script, Carson attempts to get into Northwestern by blackmailing his school into writing for the literary magazine. Intriguing premise? Check. A great supporting cast (in this case, Rebel Wilson of Pitch Perfect)? Check. Witty quotables that can hold a torch to Mean Girls? Check. Stuck in the middle of a cinema dearth, this movie has potential to give 2013 its first great flick.