BY LIZ TSOURAKIS, Hillsborough High

In the noisy Hillsborough High cafeteria, three hungry juniors gather around a food-laden table, ready to dig in. Priya Patel, a life-long vegetarian, Anne Whitaker, a pescetarian of 3 ½ years, and Lane Griffin, a meat-lover who’s been know to venerate bacon, have agreed to taste-test three of the most popular products on the meat-substitute market. (The school cafeteria provides vegetarian dishes, but in honor of the Florida State Fair, where carnivores go to snarf burgers between donuts and giant turkey legs, tb-two* wanted to stick to fake meat.) On the menu: Store-bought vegetarian versions of chicken nuggets, hamburgers and hot dogs. Reactions ranged from hearty “YUMs” to teary-eyed “OH NOs.” Here are their flavorful opinions:

Veggie Patch Chick’n Nuggets
Price:  $4.99 for package of 12
Description: Breaded soy product made to look, feel and taste like a typical chicken nugget.
Lane: “It tasted alright. You could definitely tell it wasn’t meat, but it was at least edible.”
Anne: “It didn’t taste like meat. It tasted kind of weird — not bad — just different.”
Priya: “I actually really liked them. They didn’t taste like anything I’ve ever tasted before, so they were really unique.”

Franklin Farms Portabella Fresh Veggiburger
Price:  $4.99 for package of 4
Description: Mushy mix of mushrooms and vegetable chunks packed into a patty.
Lane: “Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Don’t try it, oh, no; save yourself! That was probably the worst thing I’ve ever tasted. The flavor just, I don’t know, it doesn’t belong on this planet. It’s probably not from this planet. The flavor was like old mushrooms. Oh, God, it was bad.”
Priya: “Do I have to finish this? If I don’t have to finish it, I’m not going to. I don’t even have words, it’s just not good. It’s really bland, and has a really weird flavor to it.”
Anne: “I actually like it, it’s not that bad. It doesn’t taste like a hamburger; it’s really weird and doesn’t taste like meat, but it’s not bad.”

Lightlife Smart Dogs
Price:  $3.99 for package of 8
Description: Protein veggie link that looks identical to a regular hotdog.
Lane: “Not bad, not bad. It tastes like a real one. Would I choose to eat this over real meat? No, but if I had to, then yes. These are actually pretty good.”
Anne: “It’s definitely the best out of the three, and it’s the one that tastes the most like meat. I like it, I think it’d be a good option for someone trying to become vegetarian.”
Priya: “I don’t really like it, actually. I don’t know what meat tastes like, but I guess this tastes real. It’s very weird.”

Overall
Lane: “Chicken nuggets are edible, they were decent. The hot dog was pretty darn good. The hamburger, I just don’t want to relive that, so I’m not going to talk about it.”
Anne: “Overall, I thought they were pretty good, and I would probably eat them.”
Priya:  “I don’t dislike these, but I’ll just stick to being a vegetarian without meat substitutes.”