Sunday, June 17, 2018
Bars & Spirits

It gosen't have to be this way: The end of the gose pun is now

This One Gose to 11… That's the one that finally did it. People, gose puns are over.

I don't mean that in a good way. Now, you could accuse me of being a crotchety complainer, and you'd be right. But that doesn't mean that gose puns haven't become 100 percent played out, boring and just plain lazy.

Sure, "The One Gose to 11" is cute, and it commemorates a film worthy of endless commemoration, but to me, it's another in the pile of all-too-easy puns used to name beers that might otherwise have some serious thought put into them. Not since IPAs were still the hippest beers out there have we been inundated with such groaners for beer names.

There Gose the Neighborhood; Here Gose Nothing; And So It Gose. Wake Me Up Before You Gose; Gosebusters. GOSEBUSTERS?!

At this point, it's almost secondary that gose is pronounced "gose-uh" and not "goes." While I'm aware that my preoccupation with gose puns may seem pedantic, I think there's actually a semi-serious issue at the heart of it. The gose pun trend may be symptomatic of a broader problem — if it can be called that — in the beer world, and that's an insidious form of complacency disguised as creativity.

Consider a lychee-mango gose aged in rum barrels. We'll call it It Gose to Show.

Now, I can say with around 10 percent certainty that this beer doesn't exist, but if it did, would it be innovative? Would it be creative and pushing the boundaries in an industry whose very foundation is built on creativity and boundaries being pushed?

On the surface, it looks like it, right? And the beer would very likely taste fantastic, so no problem there. But if we're being honest, it has more in common with a line of flavoring syrups used to customize your latte than it does with the true spirit of brewing innovation. It's one step beyond a random beer concept generator — which, by the way, I hope someone has created — and it took me less than 20 seconds to conjure up. I'll bet there would be a line at the bottle release.

This kind of superficial creativity will impress and amuse drinkers for a few years, but it's not the kind of serious experimentation that the beer craze was borne of. It's not the worst thing that could happen, because the vast majority of these punny goses are still pretty darn delicious, and, despite my cynicism, I can hardly resist ordering them whenever they pop up on a brewery chalkboard. But we've got to think about the big picture here.

What I want to see is breweries doing something new. Feel free to make a delicious, Panang curry gose; just don't pretend that you're breaking new ground. Coloring inside the lines isn't exactly avant garde, even if the color combinations you're using aren't typical.

Brew a gose and be proud of it. Maybe pick a name that you had to put some work into. Instead of Googling goses to find a fruit combination that hasn't been used yet, consider different, truly fresh ways to separate your beer from the crowd. Or just brew a plain, well-made gose, as you would do with the hundred other styles that don't have a mandatory pun requirement attached to them (imagine if everyone tried using wit as a pun to name their Belgian whites).

Sam Adams released a gose called Verloren about a year before the gose craze kicked off. Verloren means "lost," as in extinct, which this style nearly was before its current revival. Another translation of verloren is "doomed." A coincidence. Maybe.

If a sea of very similar goses with only the most superficial differences and cookie-cutter pun names flood the market, then we'll be forced to see them for what they are: fun for now, but with the longevity of a Beanie Baby. These beers will — and should — be enjoyed by all, but we should be careful not to be lazy, especially when that laziness is so easy to confuse with innovation.

Contact: [email protected]; @WordsWithJG.

Comments
From soft serve to ice pops, 12 places to get frozen treats

From soft serve to ice pops, 12 places to get frozen treats

I know we have three more months or so of hot-as-dog-breath Tampa Bay summer, but let’s start things off on the right foot with some frozen treats. Ice cream is on my mind after a recent visit to Disney Springs, when I found love in a perfect scoop o...
Published: 06/13/18
Downtown St. Petersburg breakfast staple Dome Grill goes out of business

Downtown St. Petersburg breakfast staple Dome Grill goes out of business

ST. PETERSBURG — Longtime downtown breakfast staple Dome Grill has closed its doors.The restaurant, at 561 Central Avenue N, announced the closing on Facebook on June 10 and will not be relocating to a new location."We have nothing but love and respe...
Published: 06/13/18
Five restaurants worth checking out at Disney Springs in Orlando (w/video)

Five restaurants worth checking out at Disney Springs in Orlando (w/video)

LAKE BUENA VISTA Disney Springs has swiftly become a playground or trial balloon for the country?s celebrity chefs. Art Smith, Masaharu Morimoto, Rick Bayless, Guy Fieri, Tony Mantuano, Wolfgang Puck and others are already on board, with names like ...
Published: 06/13/18
Take grilled potatoes to another level with garlic and rosemary

Take grilled potatoes to another level with garlic and rosemary

By AMERICA’S TEST KITCHENGrilled potatoes are a summer classic. We wanted to put a new spin on this dish by adding rosemary and garlic. Unfortunately, we found it was difficult to add enough flavor to plain grilled potatoes. Coating the potatoes with...
Published: 06/13/18
Recipe for Stuffed Beef Burgers

Recipe for Stuffed Beef Burgers

Hidden inside these tame-looking burgers is a smoky and spicy blend of bacon, chipotle, cheese and something unexpected: pepperoni. Because the ground beef part of these burgers is patted fairly thin, there’s less of a chance you’ll undercook it. For...
Published: 06/13/18
How to cook eggs for dinner: shakshuka, carbonara and more

How to cook eggs for dinner: shakshuka, carbonara and more

Eggs are an underutilized dinner ingredient. Aside from fried rice and a breakfast-for-dinner situation, I rarely use eggs in my cooking past the hour of 4 p.m. It makes no sense. Eggs are a great source of protein, able to be cooked in myriad ways, ...
Published: 06/12/18
Add some sweet heat to your cookout with these jerk chicken skewers

Add some sweet heat to your cookout with these jerk chicken skewers

By Matt BrooksBurgers and dogs may be the traditional staples of a cookout, but when you’re craving something more than meat on bun, a well-assembled skewer is a colorful showstopper on the grill.It’s scientifically proven that food tastes better whe...
Published: 06/12/18
Alcohol-infused ice cream and coffee bar will be downtown St. Petersburg’s newest sweet spot

Alcohol-infused ice cream and coffee bar will be downtown St. Petersburg’s newest sweet spot

ST. PETERSBURG — With coffee, ice cream and sweet liqueur, a new date-night spot is hoping to bring something sweet to downtown St. Petersburg.Beans & Barlour is a new craft coffee bar and dessert lounge set to open in July that plans to serve alcoho...
Published: 06/11/18
Updated: 06/14/18
Here’s what the

Here’s what the "b" stands for in IHOb’s new (and temporary) name

That’s it, International House of Pancakes? That’s the best you can do? You announce last week that you are mysteriously changing your name from IHOP to IHOb, and every pancake eater in the land gets busy. Sample coy tweet: "Dear Internet, we abbreci...
Published: 06/11/18
Updated: 06/12/18
A hook-to-table food experience in Tampa Bay

A hook-to-table food experience in Tampa Bay

Going fishing is like doing your taxes. If it’s something you dive into just once a year you end up relearning the whole thing every time. Jake Whitfield eyed me, no judgment, and decided to cast for me the first time, my little wriggling greenback z...
Published: 06/11/18