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The Boneyard: A quirky home for all of Ybor City's freaks

 
The Boneyard is only slightly sinister. The drinks range from $2 tallboys of Old Milwaukee to top-shelf whiskey.
The Boneyard is only slightly sinister. The drinks range from $2 tallboys of Old Milwaukee to top-shelf whiskey.
Published Oct. 30, 2014

Where will all the ghouls be on Halloween in Ybor City? The vampires, of course, will be at the Castle. Werewolves? Listen for the howls and terrified screams. And the zombies? They'll be where they usually are, lined up outside clubs to dance lifelessly to faceless, disposable Top 40 tunes.

If you don't mind the company of a few skeletons, then consider the Boneyard your safe haven from the treacherous streets of Ybor on Halloween night. A well-known haunt of discerning night-dwellers, the Boneyard is a weird and only slightly sinister place to enjoy a variety of blood-free beverages.

What kind of place is the Boneyard? The short answer is it's a dive bar. But it's also one of Ybor's most eclectic drinking spots, and one that's always good for a change of pace.

The crowd at the Boneyard is as diverse as the drink selection, which ranges from $2 tallboys of Old Milwaukee and Genesee to top-shelf ryes and boutique gin cocktails. Heck, you could probably wear your Halloween costume in there in April and no one would think anything of it.

The always-on TouchTunes jukebox is a good meter of the bar's varied clientele — on any night you're bound to hear everything from extreme metal to classic pop and hip-hop. The sound is piped into a few surprisingly good-sounding speakers positioned around the bar, and there's enough empty space to make for a dance floor, in case you find yourself in the middle of an impromptu monster mash.

The décor is similarly all-over-the-place — even the furniture is a spectacle. For example, the high-tops in the lounge area are covered in painted tiles and other assorted tackiness, and there's a separate area with vinyl-cushioned booths made from hacked-up claw-foot tubs. Appropriately, these booths are arranged around a (thankfully non-working) toilet centerpiece. It's one of the most densely decorated bars around, with its brick-and-wood interior almost completely obscured by kitschy signs, knickknacks, bottle caps and, yes, bones of various origin (including many of the plastic human variety).

There are mechanical horse and giant missile rides at the entrance, glowing in the red light of a neon "LOUNGE" light. Hundreds (thousands?) of Christmas lights are strung across the ceiling, bathing the interior in garish reds, yellows and greens. And then there are the giant high heels — I could go on, but you should probably just see the place for yourself.

Prop up at the bar and you'll be served complementary popcorn in a dog dish. Why not pair it with a beer? There are eight on tap, featuring some extremely solid stuff: Ommegang Rare VOS, Duvel, Kentucky Bourbon Barrel Stout and the excellent Coppertail Free Dive IPA, which is brewed just down the street on the outskirts of Ybor.

Grab a $3 pre-made shot of either Grape Ape or Sea Foam. I couldn't tell you what's in these, other than they most definitely have some sort of grain alcohol as the base and some other neon-colored, fruity alcohol nonsense on top. Hey, they're $3 and you can drink them between legitimately good cocktails.

There's no cocktail list, but there's more than enough to get creative with. The gin selection is one of the best in town, and the whiskey selection's not far behind, with scotch, bourbon, rye and other craft whiskeys (including five different selections from High West) spanning the wall. There also are a few interesting bitters and mixers, so use your imagination (or have your bartender use theirs).

Dig in to Tampa Bay’s food and drink scenes

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The Boneyard is the perfect place to escape the nighttime hordes of Ybor. It's anything but more of the same, which is why it's a popular refuge for such a wide range of patrons. If you find yourself in Ybor on a dark, foreboding night, then do yourself a favor and stop in for a taste of something different.

jg@saintbeat.com