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Embrace the Florida Summer: Our 'sweaty' top 10 lists

I dig August in Florida. No, seriously. It's so incredibly hot and tropical, wet and wild, all you can do is embrace the overwhelming moistness of it all. There's a funky communal joy in knowing that every single person in the state is sweating their Underoos off, just like you are. Schvitzing like Hasselhoff on "Baywatch" – it's the great equalizer!

I routinely tell my pals from the Frequently Frozen North that this is the BEST time to visit the Sunshine State. The extreme climes allow you certain hedonistic freedoms. Want to slug back a pina colada at 11 a.m.? Sure, why not! It's HOT! Want to strut your bikini in line at Disney or while waiting for your glamour shot at the DMV? Did I mention that IT'S HOT??

To properly celebrate the fact we're all taking six showers a day, we've culled together the sweatiest movies, songs and books in pop perspiration culture. We're certain you'll find solace in these equally glistening works of art. Towel off and enjoy!

10 Sweaty Movies

Broadcast News, with Albert Brooks and Holly Hunter. ("I think I'm starting to perspire a little.")

Top Gun, with Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer. (Volleyball scene. 'Nuff said.)

Body Heat, with Kathleen Turner and William Hurt. (Filmed, appropriately enough, all over Florida, including Delray Beach.)

U-Turn, with Jennifer Lopez. ("And here I made you all hot and sweaty.")

Cool Hand Luke, with Paul Newman and George Kennedy. (We're thinking of the car-wash scene. Her name was Joy Harmon, by the way.)

The Hot Spot, with Don Johnson and Virginia Madsen. (A sexy sleeper. Name says it all.)

The Shawshank Redemption, with Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman. ( "I think a man working outdoors feels more like a man if he can have a bottle of suds.")

Wild Things, with Kevin Bacon, Denise Richards and Neve Campbell. (Another flick filmed all over Florida, including at Bill Baggs Cape Florida State Park in Key Biscayne.)

Rocky III, with Sylvester Stallone and Carl Weathers. ("Ding, ding.")

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls, with Jim Carrey. (Contains perhaps the greatest movie scene involving a sweaty guy trying to escape from inside a robotic rhinoceros.)

10 Sweaty Songs

Dancing With Myself, Billy Idol. ("And I sweat, and I sweat…")

Let's Dance, David Bowie. (One of the Thin White Duke's steamiest vocals.)

Got to Give It Up, Marvin Gaye. (You'll definitely be drenched if you boogie down to all 11 minutes, 52 seconds of the full-length version.)

Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now), C+C Music Factory. ("Come on, let's sweat, baby / Let the music take control.")

Summer in the City, the Lovin' Spoonful. ("…back of my neck gettin' dirty and gritty.")

Burning Love, Elvis Presley. ("Lord almighty, I feel my temperature rising.")

Honky Tonk Women, the Rolling Stones. (Just feels sweaty to me. Must be the cowbell.)

Get Low, Lil Jon & the East Side Boyz. (Dripping sweat plays a major part in this bawdy crunk classic. Listen at your own risk.)

Criminal, Fiona Apple. ("I've been a bad, bad girl … ")

Fever, Peggy Lee. ("Fever in the mornin', a fever all through the night.")

10 Sweaty Books

Cujo, Stephen King. (That ending in the Ford Pinto – yikes. Still gives us nightmares.)

Lady Chatterley's Lover, D.H. Lawrence. (Gamekeepers have all the fun. "His body was urgent against her, and she didn't have the heart anymore to fight." Hubba-hubba!)

Life of Pi, by Yann Martel. ("You might think I lost all hope at that point. I did. And as a result I perked up and felt much better.")

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Hunter S. Thompson. (Mind-melting insanity in fiery prose form. Funny as heck, too.)

Fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury. ("They rise like the midnight sun to sweat you in your bed!" Terrifying stuff and, sadly, still relevant.)

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain. (One of the reasons Sam Clemens' best book was banned in 1905? Huck used the word "sweat" instead of perspiration.)

The Big Sleep, by Raymond Chandler. (Philip Marlowe, the coolest private eye ever – even though he's always working up a lather.)

Joyland, Stephen King. (Yep, another one from Uncle Steve. Ill-fated hero has to wear an oppressive dog costume at a beach amusement park. You'll get a heat headache, too.)

Tropic of Cancer, Henry Miller. (I read Miller's infamous book one hot summer during my teens – like millions of hot summering teens before me. Wink-wink.)

Jaws, Peter Benchley. ("He was a very poor swimmer, and the prospect of being on top of — let alone in — water above his head give him what his mother used to call the wimwams: sweaty palms, a persistent need to swallow, and an ache in his stomach.")

This column originally appeared at the Visit Florida website

Embrace the Florida Summer: Our 'sweaty' top 10 lists 08/27/13 [Last modified: Tuesday, August 27, 2013 10:54am]
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