New movies this week
The Lone Ranger
The gist: Jerry Bruckheimer and Gore Verbinski team up to remake this old yarn about a former lawman turned vigilante and his unfortunately named Native American sidekick. Just to warn you, it's two and a half hours. PG-13
The cast: Armie Hammer, Johnny Depp, Tom Wilkinson, William Fichtner, Barry Pepper and Helena Bonham Carter.
The buzz: Between Depp's ridiculous makeup, the overused CGI, the overwrought explosions and the interminable running time, there's no room for any fun. "How/why/wherefore did it turn out this way? The evidence suggests a combination of hubris, errant revisionism, a misguided and perverse degree of violence, and a script that never worked in the first place," the Chicago Tribune says.
Despicable Me 2
The gist: The indecipherably Eurotrash villain Gru returns with his trio of little girls, somehow still slightly evil and yet completely identifiable to fathers of daughters everywhere. PG
The cast: Voices of Steve Carell, Kristen Wiig, Benjamin Bratt, Miranda Cosgrove, Russell Brand and Ken Jeong.
The buzz: There's almost zero plot, but as long as your kids laugh, what difference does it make? "It's a credit that the writing can be so funny in the moment, that it takes time to realize there's no cohesive story, zero dramatic tension and nary a practical lesson for either the characters in the film or the people watching in the theater," the San Francisco Chronicle says.
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com