Ruth: 16 years of perfect joy

When I was a very little boy, probably in the second grade if memory serves, Father Gannon made his weekly visit to my classroom. On one occasion I asked him what heaven was like.

"Anything you want it to be," he responded.

I liked that response. I like it even more at this moment.

If I get to the Pearly Gates, I certainly hope to be reunited with my father, my grandmother and so many other family and friends who have passed on. So much to talk about. But heaven wouldn't be heaven without our dogs and especially our Lizzie, who went over what has become known as the Rainbow Bridge early Monday morning. ...

Ruth column: Living in the land of nod (and winks)

It was always the 800-pound piece of balderdash in the room.

When Florida Highway Patrol Trooper Charles Swindle cut a lead-footed state legislator a break in November by issuing a minor $10 citation for not having proof of insurance rather than a more expensive speeding ticket, the officer thought he was toeing the agency's unspoken long brown line that it is a really good idea not to irritate elected officials who vote on the FHP's budget....

Ruth: Jill Kelley's dream came true amid David Petraeus scandal

It is certainly true none of us would be particularly thrilled to wake up one morning and find NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, MSNBC, FOX News, NPR, PBS, TMZ, plus all the local news media along with Time, Newsweek, the New York Times, USA Today, (takeabreath), Popular Mechanics, Women's Wear Daily, the National Enquirer, Seventeen, the New York Post, Geraldo Rivera, MAD magazine and (takeanotherbreath) every fruitcake radio shock jock in the land — all encamped in front of your house. ...

Ruth: Weak wills, stiff drinks and a wait for answers in Maliogate

Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to believe we might get lucky.

This might well qualify as a new rule of saloon life: When you are a 65-year-old man sitting in a bar and you find yourself being plied with cocktails by a strange, comely young woman, while hope may spring eternal, nothing much good will come of this.

And that ought to be the lesson learned by Tampa attorney C. Philip Campbell, who walked into Malio's for a pop and wound up getting popped. And thus began Tampa's B-movie version of The Verdict, back in January....

Ruth: Farewell Leland Hawes, my mentor and friend

He might have been among the last of the great two-digit typists. But Leland Hawes' index fingers could crank out copy faster than an old Associated Press teletype machine.

Leland Hawes was that sort of journalist — quick, concise, efficient. A pro's pro.

Since Leland's death May 18 at age 83, the tributes to his life and character have come in a cascade of love and admiration from his too-many-to-count friends and colleagues, of whom I am proud and honored to be one of them. ...

Ruth: The sovereign of all he surveys in his cell

Introducing Bruce Hicks, a solid sovereign citizen of the People's Republic of Stupidstan.

Of course, Mr. Hicks is abroad at the moment, spending his time as a guest of Hillsborough County's elegant accommodations for tourists arriving from the Grand Duchy of Moronovia, otherwise known as a jail.

Hicks' difficulties in having his visa from Delusiontina validated began last week when Hillsborough County Sheriff's Deputy Patrick Diaz, a resource officer at Turkey Creek Middle School in Plant City, spotted the 46-year-old pushing a toy car on a dolly down the road....

Ruth: Turanchik's ferry plan makes sense but is likely doomed

Commissioner Choo-Choo has just morphed into Commissioner Anchors Aweigh!

You do have to hand it to former Hillsborough County Commissioner Ed Turanchik — at least he thinks big. There's something to be said for that, even if some of what Turanchik's critics might say is unprintable.

It was Turanchik who led the effort to bring the Olympic Games to Tampa Bay. Yes, those Olympics, even though the probability of landing the Games was about the same as Sergio Garcia and Tiger Woods double-dating....

Ruth: For Obama, a bad week to quit smoking

You're the president of the United States sitting there in the Oval Office reveling in the power of it all, including access to Vladimir Putin's code name (Mr. Snagglepuss, by the way). While watching the Daily Show, you're informed that Rep. Darrell Issa, R-Inspector Javert, is trying to turn the botched reaction to the Benghazi attacks into Teapot Dome, the Dreyfus Affair and Mel Gibson getting stopped for speeding....