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The makers of a device called Joycard Sansui have sent a list of 12suggestions for lessening the noise level in the modern household, getting rid of "aggravating and stressful noise." Among the recommended noise-dimmers: Turn off the TV and read, replace hardwood floors with carpeting, listen to classical music instead of rock 'n' roll, teach yourself and your children sign language. Then there's the Joycard Sansui, which "provides relief from that constant ping, bang and la-tee-ta-da" of Nintendo. "Joycard Sansui places the Nintendo sound effects in the player's ears with a stereo earphone system.

Parents love it."

Beating his Drumstick Ohio State University has created a faculty chair in honor of J.T. (Stubby) Parker, who in 1960 invented the Drumstick, ice cream packed into a sugar cone, dipped in chocolate and studded with nuts. Thomas Parker, son of the inventor, donated $525,000 for the chair. His grant was augmented with funds from faculty, friends and other sources in the dairy industry. The J.T. (Stubby) Parker Chair in Dairy Foods will go to an individual who devotes himself to the development of new and improved dairy products.

J.T. Parker was chairman of the board of the Drumstick company Big Drum until his death in 1968, when his son took over.

The height of concern Now that authorities at the Aachen (West Germany) cathedral have decided to give him some privacy, we may never know just how tall Charlemagne was. More than a thousand years ago, reports the Week in Germany, Charlemagne's biographer had written that he was 7 feet tall.

Then scholars learned that a foot in the old days wasn't necessarily the same as a foot in modern times. In the 19th and early 20th centuries, physicians and scholars measured the remains buried at the cathedral and estimated Charlemagne to have been between 5 feet 10 and 6 feet 3. The latest estimate, done by biologist Joachim Schleifring, puts him at 5 feet 11 1/2. Authorities ruled recently that Charlemagne - oh, just a pinch under 6 feet - ought to be left alone. Rest in

peace.

Hall monitors For your traveling pleasure, Spy magazine recommends visiting the following Halls of Fame, situated conveniently in towns all across the country: The Kansas Teachers' Hall of Fame in Dodge City honors such greats as Ursula Clowers and Elda Mae Burke and includes a Kansas Teachers' Hall of Fame gift shop.

The Accounting Hall of Fame, which is on the campus of Ohio State University in Columbus, contains photographs of important accountants.

The International Checker Hall of Fame in Petal, Miss., contains the Burger King room, which contains memorabilia of a contest sponsored by the fast-food purveyor.

The Shuffleboard Hall of Fame is in St. Petersburg. Ascending to its heights is difficult. "Let's be honest," curator Herbert Burns told Spy, "everybody wants to get in."

- LEAH GARCHIK, San Francisco Chronicle

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