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The essence of art

Artist-writer Phil Garner (author of The Better Living Catalog) told the Advocate that he has made his body into the ultimate art piece by having breast implants. "I think a lot of people can like it," he said of his new chest. "Sure, it's drastic, but what else can you do to cap the 20th century?" Garner is not a transsexual and is not gay; the rest of his body is natural. "You could call me a juxtaposeur," he said. "A lot of my art has been about putting together two different essences."These themes are for the birds

Bird Talk, which keeps abreast of every development in cockatoo culture, asked readers what TV shows their birds like to watch. According to Bird Talk reporter Elaine Radford, several owners of cockatiels said their birds are partial to the theme music from The Andy Griffith Show.

Wendy Peterson of Vadnais Heights, Minn., said that her cockatiel "will stand at attention, no matter what he is doing, and tweet loudly" during the Nightly Business Report theme.

"Both of my Amazons are hard-core Wheel of Fortune fans," said Robin Banes of Seattle. In particular, Banes' birds get turned on by the squealing of the contestants. "They get stimulated and fan their tails and make jungle noises," she said.

Ann Vinkler of Salem, Conn., said her bird likes Wheel of Fortune, too. "I can't stand the show myself, so we leave it on for the bird and go watch the other TV."

Down the home furnishings aisle

In a Mademoiselle magazine survey of single women, 64 percent said they will not wait until they are married to purchase fine furniture, china and linens.

Re-runs for the Soviets

Aaron Spelling is giving _ donating, not selling _ episodes of Dallas and Love Boat to Soviet Central Television for broadcast in the U.S.S.R. Spelling told Tass that the programs will constitute the largest block of American shows ever shown in the Soviet Union. Not all the Soviets are happy to have the donation, says the Soviet/East European report. The U.S.S.R. Cinema Workers' Union, which has been boycotting Soviet Central Television on the grounds that it censors the news and broadcasts disinformation, had hoped that the network would run out of programs to broadcast. The American programs will fill any gaps.

To be specific

The Capitol Hill Women's Political Caucus has presented its definitive statement on sexual harassment, which includes a list of conditions and actions that constitute harassment. The Washington periodical Roll Call quotes from this broad-ranging collection:

"Any acts, statements, or suggestions that an employee's (appearance) is a factor in obtaining and securing professional opportunities."

"The abuse of familiarities or diminutives such as "honey,' "sweetheart,' "darling,' "dear' or "baby'; this may also include referring to adult women as "girls.' "

"Exposing genitalia."

_ San Francisco Chronicle