Gosh, Buzzers, last week could go down in infamy: History could record it as the week we lost the Giants and gained Ross Perot.
And we are moved to ask once again, whither standards?
Could the rumor making the rounds of the Tampa Police Department be true?
If so, it would be a marriage of the sleek and the sleaze.
Word has it that smooth, respected journalist-about-town, Channel 10's Jane Akre, is engaged to wed Steve Wilson, prime trash collector for TV's Inside Edition.
That would explain why IE does so many Tampa sleaze stories: It's Steve's excuse to get to town and to Jane.
Dear Jane's colleagues say they know she's engaged to someone described as "one of those TV tabloid guys," but they said they couldn't remember which one.
We hope Jane can.
While we're visiting our television friends, Buzzers, we've encountered several bee-zare moments in the Hillsborough County Courthouse since Channel-Not-On-Everybody's-Side (NOES) began following judges and other officialdumbs as they appeared to schlep groceries, golf and party on taxpayer-paid time.
"Where's Channel 8 when I need them?" quipped one judge as he ended his docket at 5:45 one evening.
"I work until late into the night," another assured a panel of potential jurors.
It all made us wonder what the judge thought upon finding Channel NOES photographer and assistant producer Bruce Breslow, on the panel for a notorious local criminal case. Breslow wasn't involved in the peeping-through-bushes series, but he knows them who were.
It would have made us powerfully skittish, dears.
Has Hillsborough County seceded from Florida?
From the Union?
Gracious, Buzzers, but it was ever so startling when we pulled up at a traffic light next to an official county vehicle the other day and noticed that, right there in the county seal on the door was the Stars and Bars, ever-popular-but-politically-incorrect symbol of the Confederacy.
We're simply certain that Fab Fred Karl doesn't know about this, and we really hope somebody will tell him.
You've probably heard us say this before, but it bears repeating: Standards are everything, Freddie.
Congressperson-Forever Sam Gibbons is sometimes called the father of USF, mostly because of work he did in the state Legislature to help the university get established in the late 1950s. (This was before we were born, dears, but we've read about it.)
A proposed Alumni Center, to be built in the next few years, will bear sweet Sam's name. But that, apparently, is where respect ends.
Gibbons had a chance to speak to students on campus last week, but he got bumped off the program.
By another politician?
By MTV journalist/personality Tabitha Soren.
An advisor to the University Center Activities Board, which booked Soren to speak at a noon voter-registration rally, said the group was contractually bound to have her speak exactly at noon. When Gibbons showed up late for his scheduled 11:15 a.m. appearance, rally organizers said they couldn't adjust their schedule.
College Democrats thought this dishonored their father and fired off a letter to the Activities Board, complaining of its inflexibility.
But College Republicans said the Democrats had tried to pull a fast one in the first place, by getting Gibbons on the program without also inviting Republican nominee Mark Sharpe.
Both candidates, as it happened, spent time milling around the crowd of about 150 students.
While the students milled around Tabitha.
Whatever happened to goldfish swallowing? (That was popular before we were born, dears, but we've read about it.)