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Expressing your sympathy

Here are what bereavement experts and support group leaders suggest to say _ and not to say _ when pregnancy ends in miscarriage, stillbirth or newborn death:

WHAT TO SAY:

"I'm sorry."

"I'm so sad for your loss."

"I know this must be terribly hard for you."

"How are you managing all of this?"

"What can I do for you?"

"I'm here, and I want to listen."

"Talk as long as you want. I have plenty of time."

"You don't have to say anything at all."

WHAT NOT TO SAY:

"It's all happened for the best."

"You're young. You can have others."

"Now you'll have an angel in heaven."

"You're better off having this happen now, before you knew the baby."

"This was God's way of saying something was wrong."

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