Advertisement
  1. Archive

Personals, positions strictly classified

CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING

LEGAL NOTICES

WE ARE NO longer responsible for any debts other than our own. Signed, Tampa Coliseum Inc.

NOTICE of proposed zoning change: Be advised the St. Petersburg City Council will consider Ordinance 93-777, banning all forms of activity inside the city limits except breathing and complaining about what somebody else is doing, in public assembly 7/29 at City Hall.

I, LAWTON CHILES, being of sound mind and body . . . whoops, never mind.

ITEMS FOR SALE

CROWN, sceptre, slightly used, available 1995. S. Freedman, Tampa.

MOVING. Everything must go except the memories. Come to think of it, you can have them, too. F. Borkowski, General Delivery, Mayberry, N.C.

GOVERNMENT CONTRACTS. Want to be in the convention hotel business? Want to move into a big, empty sports stadium with cheap rent? Want a contract to raze a whole downtown? Every place wants to be big-time _ let us help you capitalize. Robert Preston & Associates, P.O. Box MM, Kansas City, Mo.

LEGISLATORS FOR SALE. Own your own! Reasonable rates. Rentals and leases available, too. Contact Ethics-Schmethics Commission, Tallahassee.

IN SEARCH OF

SHT (Single Hockey Team) ISO long-term commitment. The genuine article this time; I've been burned before. Send sincere inquiries to Can-Esposito-Score-On-The-Rebound, Tampa.

BWD (Big White Dome) seeks non-smoking tenant. Contact the Office of the Strong Mayor, St. Petersburg.

POSITIONS SOUGHT

EXPERIENCED captain, recently demoted to first mate, seeks new opportunity. Count on me to keep your boat from sinking. N. Hickey, St. Petersburg.

HIRE ME. I can too do it. You just wait and see. Really, really, really. M. Gibbons, Tampa.

COMPUTER CONSULTANT needs new position. Excellent references available from last employer, HRS.

POSITIONS AVAILABLE

MARKSMAN needed Thursday nights. Will pay expenses. Make it look like an accident, and for God's sake, don't miss to the left. R. Garvey, Clearwater.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

I TOLD YOU SO, but did you listen to me in 1990? Don't come crying to me now. Nyah, nyah, nyah-nyah-nyah. Bob Martinez, Tampa.

CAN ANYBODY tell me what the words "strong mayor" actually mean? I mean, do I need a set of barbells or what? Do I have to take those icky vitamins now? Replies kept confidential. D. Fischer, St. Petersburg.

FOR THE RECORD, nothing that has happened so far is my fault. Buddy MacKay, Tallahassee.

PERSONALS

LIVE PHONE TALK. You never knew the telephone could be so hot! Call 1-976-PSC. You'll pay for it in your monthly phone bill, but then, what else is new?

TOM BEARD, I'll always be your Southern Bell.

MY SWEET "TOMMY," these last six years with you have been worth a lot to me. Several hundred million dollars, I'd say. Your job is waiting. Love, the Florida utility industry.

NEED CHARM? Want to win friends? Learn how from guest lecturer David Bussone 7/1 in Tampa General Hospital cafeteria. Call 254-MUTINY.

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE

Advertisement
Advertisement