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DEAR SYNK: I am an 11-year-old girl. I have a sister who is 19, and is away at college. Whenever she calls she fights with my parents. Now my parents tell me she is never coming home, and they won't let me communicate with her. I would do anything to see her again. I am not really sure what to do to make everything better.

_ Sisterless

DEAR SISTERLESS: You've got a problem on your hands! My suggestion to you would be to write a letter to your parents telling them how you feel (whether it's frustrated, sad, angry, etc.). This may not help the situation any (your parents may not even want to read it), but at least you can get your true feelings out in the open.

Then, and most importantly, write a letter to your sister (if necessary, ask a teacher or a friend to mail the letter for you). In it you should let her know that you still care for her and you not keeping in touch is not a reflection of your feelings toward your relationship. It is primarily your sister's responsibility to persuade your parents to allow communication between the two of you.

_ Amy Lowenstein, 15,

Berkeley Preparatory School

DEAR SISTERLESS: Relationships among family members should never be totally severed! Someone should always keep the door open in some way. It seems unjust for your parents not to let you at least communicate with your sister.

It does not appear as though your family reasons well with each other. Make an effort to talk to your parents. Tell them that you are old enough for them to level with you, and that open and honest relationships are the only way people learn to deal with their problems. Tell them that you feel you should be able to write to her. What harm can a letter do?

_ Cheryl Scott, 16,

Countryside High School