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His story smells a little fishy

I once found myself stuck in a sewer. For all those people who haven't heard the oh-so-famous story about that miserable day, let me tell it to you (note: This is the real version! Disregard any other sewer story you have heard that is similar to this one!).

I was with my friend, Patrick, and we were playing tennis in the street. I hit the ball too hard and it ended up, of course, in the sewer. I looked with unease; the two openings in the raised concrete of the curb looked like giant mouths waiting to gobble up any little boys who got too close.

I told Patrick that I was going to get it, and I climbed down into the sewer. But apparently, my head wasn't eager to go down there with the rest of me.

I yelled at Patrick to go get my mom because I was stuck. He ran back into the house and the next thing I knew, my mom was hauling across the street to where I was hanging in the sewer vent.

She told the people across the street (where the sewer vent was located) to dial 911. Then she flipped the metal cover off the top of the sewer and grabbed my legs so my neck wouldn't break. That's about the time the ants started biting.

I was in so much misery I wanted to die. The police, firemen and ambulances all arrived at about the same time. The firemen got out a big electric drill and had to smash all the concrete around my head to get me out.

Then they strapped me to a stretcher and took me to a hospital for X-rays to see if I had a broken neck. I didn't, but the experience still taught me an important lesson in life _ I just haven't figured it out.

Andrew Kanter is an eighth-grader at Tampa Preparatory School.