Some people go to the mountains of Tibet for the answers. Some seek them in books. Others, frighteningly, ask Jayne Kennedy.
Me? I turn to the remote control.
On this afternoon, however, there are no answers. You watch the San Francisco 49ers play name-that-score against the Tampa Bay Bucs, and all there are are questions. And questions. And questions. After a while, you get Bucco Bruce confused with Alex Trebek.
As tricky as Sam Wyche was by starting both quarterbacks, uh, isn't the point to fool the other team?
Why in the world does it take a quarterback so long to master an offense that does so little?
Should they retain the coach? Should they, at least, retrain the coach?
After a timeout on fourth and 1, shouldn't the quarterback and wide receiver have some idea of what the pattern should be?
Why were the 49ers only a 15-point favorite? Were the bookies hung over from the Rollie Massimino going-away party?
How many nights a week does Steve Young wake up in a cold sweat over that recurring Oh-no-I'm-a-Buc-again nightmare?
Is this Ron Pitts guy, the Fox analyst, getting paid by the word?
Charles Wilson. Why?
How can a defense be guilty of so much unnecessary roughness and so little of the necessary kind?
Gee, how lopsided would this game have been if the Bucs had only one week to prepare?
If you are in a 28-team fantasy league, how many rounds before a Bucs' quarterback gets picked?
When Wyche keeps chattering into his walkie-talkie, is he eliminating confusion or creating it?
Have the Bucs even let Dilfer watch practice the past three months?
Now that Lawrence Dawsey's knee has healed, how long before his hands do the same?
The Bucs never have caught the ball on the fly, but shouldn't Thomas Everett be able to handle a fumble on the first bounce?
Are the 49ers right about the Bucs being cheap-shotters, or did Wyche expect Curtis Buckley, wide receiver, to turn the game around?
How far behind do the Bucs have to be before they take a shot into the end zone from midfield on the last play of the first half? (Evidently, more than 17.)
Vince Workman. Why?
How much is this game going to drive up Jimmy Johnson's asking price? How much is it going to drive down Peter Angelos' offer?
Is the Bucs employment office really checking out these resumes? Are we sure this is the same Dilfer who threw for 14-million touchdowns at Fresno State?
How many shopping days left until the Bucs botch another NFL draft?
Does Errict Rhett get some kind of obscene bonus for his 10th carry of the game, or what? Isn't it time to feature this guy in the credits?
What are the odds that Jacksonville and Charlotte are going to have a 10-win season before the Bucs?
Can the Bucs possibly be anywhere near the salary cap with these players?
Where does the line for next year's season tickets start? (Hint: you won't be able to film a McDonald's commercial. You need two fans for that.)
Isn't intimidation supposed to happen sometime before a 15-yard gain?
This is all to get the Vikings overconfident, right?
Casey Weldon. Why not?
How long, exactly, has Job been a Bucs season-ticket holder?
What did Wyche say to the official to get the 15-yard penalty? He didn't remind him that he has a five-year contract, did he?
Is anyone still saying this team is better than a year ago? Or have the Bucs defied the odds and made it worse?
Doesn't Craig Erickson look a lot better when he's the team's No.
2 quarterback? Then again, doesn't everyone?
Does anyone else see Marty Carter as a wide receiver?
Anyone else miss Richard Williamson?
This is all the media's fault, right, Sam?
Eric Curry. Where?