Advertisement
  1. Archive

THE MANDATORY EQUALIZER

If school uniforms "level the playing field" for children, imagine how they could make things better in the workplace. No more worrying that fancy Bob is getting promoted to full partner because of his flashy Armani suits. Never again will Mary get a lousy raise because her tattered slip sticks out of her wrap-around skirt.

But what will we wear to add uniformity to our daily grind? Try these suggestions on for size:

NEWS ANCHORS

Unisex plastic wig with optional bun for female anchors

Bolo tie with station ID

White shirt, extremely starched

FOR THEIR LESS ATTRACTIVE COUNTERPARTS IN THE PRINT MEDIA: Same outfit but with a fedora over the plastic wig and a big old button that says PRESS pinned on the shirt

POLITICIANS

Loud plaid jacket so we can spot them a mile away

Beanie with propeller to cool down hot air

Rubber band on wrist to remind office holder of campaign promises

LAWYERS

Book of judge jokes

Briefs (nothing to hide)

Briefcase for quick changes

ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANTS

Head-to-toe baseball uniforms, since they are the ultimate team players. (Caps with company logo promote company)

TEACHERS

Teflon jumpsuit to deflect criticism from every corner.

Flak jacket with pockets for confiscated gum and beepers; tissues; permission slips; worry beads; extra pencils; c-phone for emergencies; Band-Aids.

NOTE: To promote school spirit, jumpsuit and jacket must be in school colors.

QUIZ: Is this the football coach or the biology teacher? See our point?

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE

Advertisement
Advertisement