If school uniforms "level the playing field" for children, imagine how they could make things better in the workplace. No more worrying that fancy Bob is getting promoted to full partner because of his flashy Armani suits. Never again will Mary get a lousy raise because her tattered slip sticks out of her wrap-around skirt.
But what will we wear to add uniformity to our daily grind? Try these suggestions on for size:
Unisex plastic wig with optional bun for female anchors
Bolo tie with station ID
White shirt, extremely starched
FOR THEIR LESS ATTRACTIVE COUNTERPARTS IN THE PRINT MEDIA: Same outfit but with a fedora over the plastic wig and a big old button that says PRESS pinned on the shirt
Loud plaid jacket so we can spot them a mile away
Beanie with propeller to cool down hot air
Rubber band on wrist to remind office holder of campaign promises
Book of judge jokes
Briefs (nothing to hide)
Briefcase for quick changes
Head-to-toe baseball uniforms, since they are the ultimate team players. (Caps with company logo promote company)
Teflon jumpsuit to deflect criticism from every corner.
Flak jacket with pockets for confiscated gum and beepers; tissues; permission slips; worry beads; extra pencils; c-phone for emergencies; Band-Aids.
NOTE: To promote school spirit, jumpsuit and jacket must be in school colors.
QUIZ: Is this the football coach or the biology teacher? See our point?