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Jealousy threatens relationship

Dear June: My boyfriend and I have been together for five months, and we have our ups and downs like every other couple. I feel that I'm causing problems in our relationship with my jealousy. I am scared to death of losing him, and I believe that is taking a toll on our relationship.

For instance, he'll go to a party and when he gets home he'll call me. I'll get an attitude with him for no reason. I feel another woman will catch his attention.

I am trying hard to work this out, but I realize that I need help. _ Worried

Dear Worried: You realize that you need help, and that's the first step to overcoming your fear.

You are probably getting an attitude with him because he went to the party without you. Just tell him your feelings are hurt, instead of being negative toward him.

Communication is the next step. You are definitely going to lose him if you can't control your jealousy. Something must be causing you to be so concerned.

Make an appointment with a professional who can help you work through these issues. Do it not just for this relationship, but for yourself.

This guy isn't worth it

Dear June: I had been seeing this guy for about eight months when he fell off of the face of the earth. I had just had a miscarriage and was devastated. I didn't even know I was pregnant when it happened. He and I had made plans for a future.

I do not understand why he left me, but he did have some problems that he needed to work out. The biggest issue was that he was married.

He spent on average four to five days and nights with me. I knew everything there was to know about how he felt about her and how she felt about him. She even knew about me.

He called a few times after abandoning me, always saying he still loved me. I have mixed thoughts about all of this.

Am I a fool for still loving him and wanting him back in my life? _ Feeling Bad

Dear Feeling Bad: The word "fool" is a little harsh. Perhaps naive would be a better description. Regardless, I'm having some real problems with this situation.

He leaves after you miscarried a child, a time when you needed him most. He wasn't kidnapped, jailed, or deceased; therefore, he has no excuse for waiting months to get back in touch with you.

There is no way you can know everything he and his wife felt about each other. Only God is privy to this information. They probably don't even know their true feelings. Obviously, there were and still are some issues between them, which is why he became involved with you in the first place.

And here's a little tip. Most women know when their men are with someone else. Your heart may want him back, so let's work on clearing your mind.

Don't let him play your emotions. Take care of yourself and become even stronger spiritually, mentally and physically. After doing this, you can go out and find a real man who will truly be yours and only yours through the good as well as the trying times.

Do you have a question for June Hall? Write to her at June Hall/I Hear Ya, Floridian section, St. Petersburg Times, P.O. Box 1121, St. Petersburg, FL 33731. Or send her e-mail at

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