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http:// vday.html

Ah, the mad dash to the florist. The frantic call for dinner reservations. The sinking feeling that maybe _ just maybe _ it wasn't a good idea to send her that sympathy card. (Hey, they were the only ones left at the drug store.)

Feb. 14 is Valentine's Day, the Regis Philbin of holidays _ most people either love it or hate it. If you love it, you're either in a great relationship, you're a florist, or you work in the greeting card business. If you hate it, have we got some Web sites for you. The Anti-Valentine's Day page is the gateway to the other sites, and it has it all: cynicism, bitterness, revenge and a list of links that must be seen to be appreciated. Here's a sample from the main page:

"The candy just goes to your hips, and the stuffed animals just sit around and rot on a shelf. When you finally stop dating the person who gave them to you, they serve as a horrible reminder of the relationship and the person you are no longer with.

"And forget Cupid! I mean really, a naked baby with wings, shooting arrows at people? More creative things have been created by bad acid!"

Most of these sites are designed by women, for women, and as you may have noticed, they are decidedly wicked. Among the links are Protest Valentine's Day ("If someone in the office receives flowers, chocolate or singing telegrams, eat the chocolate, run the flowers through a food processor, and beat the crap out of the singing telegram people. Most people will thank you for this.")

Other favorites are Submit-A-Jerk, which asks women to submit the name of a man who "should be hated by all," and February Sucks!, which is adorned with little candy hearts with messages like Please Die, Just Say No and Oh Barf.

Don't you just feel the love?

We thought so.

_ TOM ZUCCO, Times staff writer

If you'd like to nominate a site, drop me an e-mail at