1. Archive


1. "Yeah, I am Mrs. Moder."

a) Julia Roberts, who after her first marriage never walked around calling herself Mrs. Lovett.

b) Danny Moder's ex-wife, Vera, still bitter about being dumped for Roberts.

c) An anonymous female gofer on the set of cameraman Danny's last movie, threatening to make trouble unless Roberts gives her the same $400,000 she gave Vera to go away.

2. "They tell me, "You got to learn.' I don't know what I'm exactly supposed to learn. I only know I'm supposed to be learning it."

a) Moder, who has a blind spot when it comes to his wife's history with men.

b) Cris Judd, soon to be ex-Mr. Jennifer Lopez, who has a blind spot _ and a good divorce settlement _ when it comes to his future ex-wife.

c) Sopranos teenage actor Robert Iler, who is supposed to be learning it's not good to mug people in real life.

3. "Men always mess up. I've hung out with guys all night and thought, "Great,' and then you get to the shoes and it's like, "Sorry, goodbye, nice to meet you.' "

a) Lopez, who only recently noticed Judd's shoes.

b) Gwyneth Paltrow, who needs to lower her standards.

c) Alanis Morissette, who really is shallow.

4. "I'm not into sex or romance. What I want to know when I meet a lady is, can she cook? I am guilty of going home with a girl I'm not really that interested in just so I can have a good dinner."

a) Luciano Pavarotti's take on relationships.

b) Wyclef Jean's take on relationships.

c) Harrison Ford, explaining his interest in Calista Flockhart.

5. "I don't know what people thought of Australia before _ that it was just a few sheep and a few flies _ but people have a whole different idea of Australia now."

a) Russell Crowe, claiming he has changed the world.

b) Steve Irwin, implying that people now think Australia is a few sheep, a few flies and a lot of crocodiles and snakes.

c) Australian actor Sam Neill, praising the country's film industry, whose productions include The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.

6. "I felt like people who have kids and who are married aren't the ones who really need comedy. You know, it's people who are lonely, who have problems getting dates, those are the people who need, really, to be laughing."

a) Larry David, trying to boost Curb Your Enthusiasm's ratings.

b) Drew Carey, trying to boost his show's ratings.

c) Cedric the Entertainer, trying to get ratings for his Fox show this fall.

7. "Making music is demanding. You've got to give it 100 percent. You can't give it 99 percent. So I've learned to give it 110 percent and every ounce of energy I have."

a) A Paula Abdul bimbo moment from American Idol.

b) Any American Idol contestant at any given time.

c) Country singer Andy Griggs, who missed his calling as an American Idol contestant.

8. "I don't know why anyone would put the energy into lying for this."

a) American Idol contestant EJay Day, about the competitor thrown out for lying about his age.

b) West Wing actor Dule Hill, saying he won't pretend he'll miss Rob Lowe because now there's more money for everyone else.

c) Malcolm in the Middle mom Jane Kaczmarek, who would much rather have her pregnancy written into the show than spend months standing behind a counter to hide it.

Answers: 1,a; 2,c; 3,b; 4,b; 5,c; 6,a; 7,c; 8,a.