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KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON: There are good things to be said for naked ambition, but this isn't one of them:

Syndicated talk show host Rob Nelson will do his Monday show in the buff so, he says, he can figure out the appeal of nude living.

Nelson, who is in his late 30s, says in a news release that he's modest by nature and that being naked in front of people for the taped show "scared the heck out of me."

If you're wondering who Rob Nelson is and why he has a talk show, we did, too. So we checked him out. And concluded that this is just another naked grab for ratings and attention.

Nelson gained a modicum of fame by co-founding a Gen X political action group in 1996. He got his first show in 1999 on the Fox News Channel, which wanted to attract a younger audience. The younger audience wasn't attracted. So Fox News canned him, but parent company 20th Century Fox this year gave him the syndicated show, which in the latest ratings wasn't cracking the top 25. Meaning Divorce Court had a bigger audience.

Catch Nelson au naturel, or clothed, at 10 a.m. weekdays on the Tampa Bay area's Fox affiliate, WTVT-Ch. 13.

EVERY SUCCESSFUL CELEBRITY'S NIGHTMARE: "I remember the first time I was in Nicaragua, and I knew my life was somewhat in jeopardy, and the thing I thought was, "Oh my God, if I get killed, Meryl Streep will get an award playing my life, and I would be really p__- off.' "

_ Susan Sarandon, in the Sydney Morning Herald.

EVERY HAS-BEEN CELEBRITY'S FANTASY: Former troubled child star Corey Feldman married fiancee Susie Sprague on the set of his new WB TV show, The Surreal Life, a Real World ripoff in which Feldman lives in a house for two weeks with rapper-turned-minister MC Hammer, Emmanuel Lewis (Webster), Mindy Cohn (The Facts of Live) and Motley Crue singer Vince Neil.

Hammer conducted the Oct. 30 service with a rabbi, according a news release that Feldman's publicist issued a few weeks after the fact.

There was no official word on whether the wedding would be used in the show, scheduled to air for six episodes around midseason. The unofficial word is of course it will be.

SOME PEOPLE CALL IT A MAJOR ALCOHOL-FUELED BENDER: The truth may not be out there after all, but these people are. They work with us. They check us out at the grocery story. They vote.

About 2.9-million Americans say they have experienced symptoms associated with UFO abductions, according to a Roper poll commissioned by the Sci-Fi Channel.

The symptoms include waking up paralyzed with a sense of a strange presence in the room; feeling like you are flying through the air without knowing why or how; finding scars on your body you don't remember getting; seeing unusual lights in a room without knowing the cause; and experiencing a period of an hour or more in which you were apparently lost, but neither you nor anyone else can remember why or where you were.