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That grass skirt looks your size, sheriff

During the Sheriff's Office Volunteer Appreciation luncheon held Wednesday at Rock Crusher Canyon, many good-natured barbs were exchanged.

Community Affairs head Lt. Doug Dodd presented a special badge to former Community Affairs Sgt. Jack Roberts, who recently retired for health reasons. Roberts came onstage in full uniform.

As Roberts was preparing to leave the stage, Dodd said: "Jack, I really have only one question for you. You don't really have bullets in that gun _ do you?"

POTENTIAL REASSIGNMENT: Acting as emcee, Dodd said performers wearing grass skirts and coconut bras might be part of the entertainment.

"You may even see the sheriff in a grass skirt," said Dodd.

From the audience came, "I want to see him in a coconut bra!"

Shortly after that, Dodd pulled a grass skirt from beneath the podium and looked pointedly at his boss, Sheriff Jeff Dawsy.

Dawsy grinned and asked, "How does Ozello sound to you, Doug?"

LOOKING FOR A HOT TIME? During the entertainment portion of the afternoon, several dances were performed. Lami Wolfgramm, the leader of the group, announced the Samoan fire dance, a spectacular performance that included a baton that is lit on both ends. It is spun, tossed and passed over, under and around the dancer's body.

In announcing the dance, Wolfgramm looked up at the overhanging draperies, and said, "Don't worry. We have some fire extinguishers here."

Walking to the edge of the stage, he looked down and around, then added, "somewhere."

AND THE WINNER IS: The top destination for people who visit Citrus County government's Web site ( is the animal control division's section. According to a county memo, animal control averaged just more than 6,000 page views per day. The previous top destination: the section with information about building permits.

_ Times staff writers Mary Ann Koslasky and Jim Ross contributed to this report.