Advertisement

And a child shall lead him

 
Published Sept. 16, 2003|Updated Sept. 1, 2005

Everybody needs parents. Even a 6-foot-2, 340-pound football player whose nickname is "Big Daddy."

It's almost shocking when you hear Miami junior defensive tackle Vince Wilfork speak about his loss. The words come slowly, thoughtfully, without any trace of the ferocity and bravado he exhibits regularly on the field.

"After losing both your parents back to back at a young age, nothing can top that," Wilfork said. "But the death of my parents taught me that not just tomorrow but today is not promised to us, so live each and every day like it's your last."

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Wilfork headed into his sophomore season with national championship hopes and NFL dreams on the horizon. That's when he would take care of his parents.

He would buy his mother, Barbara, the Lexus she always dreamed of. His father, David Sr., would be driving his dream machine, a Cadillac Escalade. Both were employed by Palm Beach County and regularly worked long days as Vince and his older brother, David Jr., grew up in Boynton Beach. Soon Vince would make sure they never had to work again.

Instead, in a span of six months, both were gone.

Wilfork said it wasn't as difficult to accept his father's death at age 48 from kidney disease in June 2002 because David Sr. had been in poor health for more than a decade. Diabetes had ravaged him for so long that every day was considered a gift. Wilfork said his father, a former Bethune-Cookman player, got more joy out of Miami's 2001 championship than he did.

But Barbara Wilfork's stroke in November 2002 and her death a month later at 46 blindsided her son. Wilfork would leave practice in Coral Gables and drive 90 minutes to his mother's bedside, and it appeared she was recovering from the stroke. But on Dec. 15 Wilfork left after another visit, not realizing it was the last time he would see his mother.

Football, even playing for a title, seemed meaningless.

Playing in a reserve role last season, Wilfork had 43 tackles, including 15 for a loss, and seven sacks, but the focus and concentration weren't there.

"We all know why," coach Larry Coker said at the start of this season. "He's a completely different person now than he was a year ago, and that is understandable."

Many thought the 21-year-old would jump to the NFL after last season. Scouts liked his size and quickness, and he was projected as a first-round draft pick. But his parents had instilled a value for education, and Wilfork also thought he owed the program something for staying by his side.

"I might only have one brother by blood, but I've got 100 brothers on this team," Wilfork said. "I no longer have my father, but I've got 12 dads here, thanks to my coaches.

"I let the young guys here know money isn't everything. When people tell me, "You could have gone to the NFL and been a millionaire,' I'm like, "Man, it's not about the money. It's about the love of the game.' "

In the midst of losing his parents, Wilfork and his fiance, Bianca Farinas, prepared for the birth of their first child. Destiny Barbara Wilfork arrived on Valentine's Day. Wilfork said he sees his mother when he looks into his child's face.

"As long as I keep my daughter around me, I'll always have my mama close," Wilfork said. "Maybe this is God's gift to me. I can live with that."

Farinas said Destiny's birth has given Wilfork purpose, something he might have lost with the death of his parents.

Wilfork is on track to earn his degree in criminal law in December. He hopes a national championship comes a month later. There also is an upcoming wedding to Farinas.

Defensive coordinator Randy Shannon compares Wilfork to another former UM standout, Bucs defensive tackle Warren Sapp.

"Any time you can fit your butt into two chairs and can get off the line with the quickness of a cat, you're going to be pretty effective," Shannon said. "That's the same kind of thing Sapp has that makes him so disruptive."

This season, Wilfork has 10 tackles in three games, three for a loss, and one sack. He forced a fumble Saturday against East Carolina that was recovered for a touchdown. Those numbers are important, but Wilfork knows how to keep things in perspective.

"Every day I have to go forward," he said. "I can't make a downfall. If I do, I'm a failure to my daughter, I'm a failure to my parents, I'm a failure to my teammates. I have something in this world that can push me, so there's no excuse not to go forward. I have to play football. I have to do the right things to get me ready."