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Or maybe you should just stay home

Whether you're setting out for a month in Spain or biking to Fort De Soto Park for a weekend campout, you'll find things in the 67 glossy pages of the Magellan's catalog that you just have to have _ and a few you won't believe exist.

These are actual products, actually for sale, in the "Early Spring Reference Edition 2004" of Magellan's, "America's leading source of travel supplies." The descriptions come straight from the catalog and the Web site,

_ LANE DEGREGORY, Times Staff Writer

Faux Wedding Band

Single female travelers may sometimes find themselves the recipients of unwanted advances in foreign countries. Our adjustable wedding band looks like the real thing, and helps ward off such advances by making it appear that the wearer is "off-limits." Clever and effective! Made of gold-plated brass. $9.85

Flatulence Filter

A breath of fresh air for you and your fellow passengers! Flying, time changes and rich restaurant foods can cause many travelers to experience uncomfortable intestinal gas, which in turn can lead to embarrassing flatulence. And at 30,000 feet, it's difficult to blame the dog! The Flatulence Filter looks like an ordinary seat cushion but contains an activated carbon air filter that absorbs odors immediately and lasts up to 12 months. Ideal for airplane, train or car travel, it has a handy carrying handle. $39.85.


Tame the toilets of the world! Women of the world can now stand, with minimal undressing, at hole-in-the-floor "squat" toilets around the world (or when encountering too-dirty-to-sit Western toilets). Eight easy-to-use, disposable funnels per package. A Magellan's exclusive. $6.85.

Restop 2

The world's most portable toilet. Great insurance for those "can't wait" emergencies, their biodegradable blend of polymers breaks down waste in its sturdy zip-top bag and turns it into a gel. Restop 2 (for solid waste) has a deodorized "bag-in-a-bag" design to securely contain waste and odor. Safe to dispose of in any trash container. Includes instructions, tissues and antiseptic wipes. Four per order. $12.85

Evac-U8 Smoke Hood

It may look strange, but this emergency escape hood gives you 15 life-saving minutes to escape a fire with your lungs and eyes protected from painful smoke and toxic gasses. Just twist open the compact canister, bite down on the snorkel-like filter, and pull the heat-resistant Kapton hood over your head. The Award-winning multi-stage catalytic filter and compact design of the Evac-U8 hood provide a high level of protection and value for frequent travelers. Its ability to remove carbon monoxide makes it especially valuable in high-rise hotel and office building fires, where carbon monoxide is the biggest threat. If you work or live in a high-rise building, we recommend keeping an Evac-U8 hood on hand, so you'll have time to exit the building calmly in an emergency. If you use it within five years, the manufacturer will send you another free of charge. Made in Canada. $69.00