Which was the bigger disappointment: Canadian hockey in 2006 or American basketball in 2004?
The only upside to Canada's performance in Turin was the speed with which the team was able to pass through airport security on its flight home.
Car keys? Check.
Precious metals? No need to worry.
Look at it this way: the United States at least got to unload a basketball bronze into its plastic tub at Athens International two years ago. While that doesn't serve as much consolation for a country that invented the sport in which it choked, it's far better than the toiletries Wayne Gretzky and Co. managed to squirrel away from the team hotel.
True, you never can have too much Suave, but when it comes atthe expense of national pride, there are better ways to fill your carry-on.
Arguing America's performance in 2004 vs. Canada's in 2006 is a lot like arguing whether you'd rather see Chuck Norris or Vin Diesel in a remake of The English Patient.
It's the lesser of two evils, baby. But I'll take Norris. By a whisker.
Okay, so you aren't paying attention to the Olympics, although judging by our letters to the editor, you're paying a lot of attention to our columnists. Read this week's columns and vote online at www.sptimes.com/faceoff.
Are you paying attention to the Winter Olympics?
Murphy (yes): 389
Purks (no): 622