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Mom distances herself from kids

Q: I come from a family of seven kids that has been torn apart ever since the year our mother decided to leave our stepfather of 11 years to be with another woman.

Mom has changed her phone number a few times already. When she has given it out to one of us, it was only after making us promise not to share it with any other sibling or family member. This has caused problems between siblings.

I guess some of us borrowed money and didn't pay her back, but she doesn't even give us a chance to pay her back.

A few weeks ago, I sent Mom a letter apologizing for everything I have put her through, asking for forgiveness. It has been weeks since I mailed it, but still no reply. We live in the same city.

I'd knock on her door, but I'm afraid I'll be rejected. What can you recommend I do?

- Wants Mom in San Jose

A: Risk the rejection. It would not be more painful than what you're experiencing now. Write your mother a check for the money you owe her, buy her flowers and knock on her door.

Boyfriend needs reality check

Q: My boyfriend and I have a 2-month-old baby. We agreed that I'd stay home for a few months and "take care of the house." Unfortunately, with breast-feeding and the baby's sleep schedule being irregular, I constantly feel fatigued. When I try talking to him about it, he says that I'm the only woman in the world who can't do the "simple task" of keeping house, etc. What can I do?

- Hurt in Mountain View, Calif.

A: Your boyfriend is extremely uninformed about the changes that take place in a woman's body when a baby enters the picture. A talk with your pediatrician might sensitize him, but if it doesn't, then it's time for you to look into finding day care for your baby and a job for yourself.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips.

Universal Press Syndicate