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HUNTING IN HOPE OF SOME NEW GOOGLENOPES

Three months ago in this space, a versatile new word was born. A "googlenope" was defined as a phrase that returns no hits when entered in quotations into the Google search engine. Until that day, the word "googlenope" was itself a googlenope. Today, it draws more than 1,000 hits, and the numbers are growing. The phenomenon has spread to Europe. Indeed, someone has started a Web site, googlenope.com, which is devoted to the art and science of what we shall henceforth call . . . googlenopery.

We at googlenope international headquarters could not be prouder. But semantic pioneers do not get where they are by resting on their laurels. Today, we further plumb the field by finding new googlenopes, and pairing them with googleyups - phrases that ought to be googlenopes, but aren't.

As always, every time a new googlenope is found and published, it ceases to be a googlenope. In this manner we shall slowly but steadily create a world where nothing has been left unsaid.

Googlenope: I'd like a middle seat

Googleyup: I'd like to die in a plane crash

Googlenope: world's funniest proofreader

Googleyup: world's funniest mortician

Googlenope: accidentally glued my foot to my dog

Googleyup: accidentally glued my dog to the floor

Googlenope: squalor of the French Riviera

Googleyup: splendor of Hoboken, N.J.

Googlenope: armpit hair topiary

Googleyup: nose hair topiary

Googlenope: 14-karat gold spork

Googleyup: 14-karat gold silly putty egg

Googlenope: died in a freak pogo stick accident

Googleyup: died in a freak mushy pea accident

Googlenope: turkey-chip cookie

Googleyup: chicken-chip cookie

Googlenope: sensitive middle linebacker

Goodleyup: sensitive mass murderer

Googlenope: finest Cajun food in New Hampshire

Googleyup: finest Cajun food in the Netherlands

Googlenope: God is a bad dancer

Googleyup: God is a bad first date

Googlenope: All philosophers are gasbags

Googleyup: The Ontological Basis of Plotinus' Criticism of Aristotle's Theory of Categories

Googlenope: the kiwi and sausage diet

Googleyup: the ice cream and prune diet

Googlenope: worshiped for his knock-knock jokes

Googleyup: worshiped for his penmanship

Googlenope: Give Hillary a noogie

Googleyup: Give Jesus a noogie

Googlenope: Amish shotgun enthusiast

Googleyup: kickboxing Jewish Republican

Googlenope: the most delicious pus ever

Googleyup: the most delicious vomit ever

Googlenope: a passion for orthodontia

Googleyup: a passion for toilet-seat collecting

Googlenope: the World Blimp Racing Championship

Googleyup: the World Snail Racing Championship

Googlenope: uncircumcised hamster

Googleyup: uncircumcised anchovy

Googlenope: My behind isn't large enough

Googleyup: Do I look fat in this muumuu?

Googlenope: Himmler loved humanity

Googleyup: Himmler loved a nice plate of salmon

Googlenope: gangsta clog dancing

Googleyup: gangsta accordion music

Googlenope: How to press your pants with a waffle iron

Googleyup: How to shave your legs with duct tape

Googlenope: Googlenopery

Googleyup: De-googlenoping

Gene Weingarten's e-mail address is weingarten@washpost.com.

Washington Post Writers Group

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