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A GUARANTEE FOR ALL TIME, OR A FEW DAYS

Giants WR Plaxico Burress tries to join the Joe Namath Club, but many others have trod that ground and failed.

JR: I see Plaxico Burress has said the Giants will win 23-17. Does that mean we can skip the rest of this nonsense and head straight to the nearest bar?

GS: Didn't Fred Williamson once say the Chiefs were going to beat the Packers in Super Bowl I? Didn't Ray Buchanan pick the Falcons over the Broncos? Silly me. I'm going to need a little more evidence before I consider Plaxico the next coming of Joe Namath.

JR: Yes, but Fred Williamson did parlay that brashness into an acting career and guest roles on Fantasy Island, CHiPs and Lou Grant. Maybe Plaxico has his eye on the new Bionic Woman.

GS: Was she the one wearing the wedding dress at Media Day? For a minute, I was terrified that Ricky Williams was making a comeback.

JR: That gal walking around asking players to marry her? I think Tom Brady was terrified Bridget Moynahan was making a comeback.

GS: We should all be so frightened. No, this was a Mexican reporter with a T-shirt that said "I'm the real Mrs. Brady." Funny. She didn't look at all like Florence Henderson.

JR: Yeah, journalism does seem to take a backseat at the Super Bowl. I swear, if Bill Belichick had been a White House spokesman, he would have announced Abraham Lincoln had an upper body injury and his availability for the rest of the Civil War would be addressed on Wednesday's injury report.

GS: I had a debate with someone this week about whether there was a part of Bill that we don't get to see. Another writer was convinced that Bill went home and told jokes and sang and danced like a real human. I think the part we haven't seen is when scientists replace the batteries in his head. I swear, I saw his eyes glow red this morning.

JR: You had a debate? That's so unlike you. You never argue. You never disagree. You just listen politely, and then call the person a *%@&+.

GS: You know what I always say. You can't spell "Romano" without "*%@&+."

JR: That's Mr. *%@&+ to you.

GS: Isn't that what you said to the cameraman who hit you in the head three times?

JR: Shhhh, my daughter might read this.

GS: Who do you think hired the cameraman?

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