Q: My husband cheated on me, so I decided to end the marriage. I didn't tell anyone the true reason behind the divorce because I wanted to keep it private.
My 14-year-old daughter is extremely angry with me and blames me for the divorce. Her father can do no wrong in her eyes. I have custody, and our house has become a war zone.
So far, I have revealed no details to her except that we both love her and our marriage simply did not work out. I am tempted to tell her the truth, hoping we can call a truce and try to get our relationship back on track. Is this a bad idea?
Wants to Disclose
A: I understand the temptation to unload, but yield to it only if there is no other way. If you and your husband are on speaking terms - and for your daughter's sake, I hope you are - schedule some time for the three of you to get together and talk about the divorce. At that time, HE should reinforce to her that the divorce was mutual, and you should not be blamed for it.
She found out her grandma died from her boyfriend's sister
Q: My grandmother died recently after being hospitalized for more than a year. My boyfriend, "Tom," has a sister who is a registered nurse at the hospital where Gramma was staying. "Gail" was one of my grandmother's nurses and would often tell Tom about the treatments. It bothered me because I felt it was a breach of confidentiality.
The day Gramma died, I was working. Tom came to the restaurant where I work to give me the sad news. He explained that Gail had called him.
I understand that Tom wanted me to hear the news in person, but my family had decided they would wait to tell me until after I got home from work that evening, which is what I would have preferred.
Gail may not have meant any harm, but I don't believe what she did was right or fair. Should I report her to the hospital?
Sad and Confused in Massachusetts
A: Yes, you should. The administrators need to know that the patient privacy policies they have in place are being violated, since an employee who would do this to you is likely to be doing it to others, which could lead to a lawsuit. However, you should be prepared for the fact that reporting your boyfriend's sister will probably end the romance.
A woman with no funny bone fears her husband is sick of it
Q: I'm not a negative person, but I rarely laugh at anything. My husband of eight years is growing tired of the fact that I find nothing funny. Do you have any advice for me?
No Funny Bone in Utah
A: I'm sorry your husband is "growing tired" of the fact that you find nothing funny, but he should have known what you were like when he married you. Perhaps it's time he concentrated on developing his serious side.