1 UDC Scholarships
If the enormous Confederate Flag on the side of I-75 makes you feel warm and fuzzy, then this scholarship may be for you.
For: Confederate heirs.
Who's paying: The United Daughters of the Confederacy.
How much you can mooch: At least one grand.
What you need: A Confederate ancestor who served nobly in the Confederate army, navy or civil service, a 3.0 GPA and a passing score on your college's entrance exam.
Send: A bunch of proof of your great-great-great-great-great ... grandfather's service (from reliable sources, not your great-uncle Ricky Bobby), your UDC Chapter's endorsement, a bunch of forms and a 300-word essay on how much Southern comfort means to you.
Deadline: March 15
So you know it's legit: tinyurl.com/UDCbucks
* * *
2 KLI Academic Award: The Kor Memorial Scholarship
qIm, Trekkies! If you even recognize this language, you'd better grab this one.
For: Star Trek lovers so hardcore that they carry a pocket English/Klingon dictionary.
Who's paying: The Klingon Language Institute. Yes, it exists, my friends.
How much you can mooch: $500
What you need: Smarts, a desire to study a language, respectable references.
Send: Recommendations, a statement and a resume. And don't forget the fourth letter of recommendation from Spock.
Deadline: June 1
So you know it's legit: kli.org/scholarship
* * *
3 Chick and Sophie Major Memorial Duck Calling Contest
Camo-clad contestants have quacked for cash since 1974.
For: High school senior duck-calling extraordinaires.
Who's paying: Stuttgart, Ark., Chamber of Commerce
How much you can mooch: Up to $1,500. Top three finishers get some pretty sweet jackets, too.
What you need: In the most intense 90 seconds of your life, you will perform four duck calls (hail, feed, comeback and mating) to be judged by a panel of five humans.
Send: An optional portrait of your trainer, winged or limbed.
So you know it's legit: tinyurl.com/quackforcash
* * *
4 Duck Brand Duct Tape Stuck at Prom Competition
This year, the contest gets even wilder for its 10th anniversary, with more prizes and online voting.
For: Couples (of any gender combination) willing to show up at prom wearing outfits made from duct tape.
Who's paying: Duck brand duct tape
How much you can mooch: $500 to $3,000, with a matching amount for the school that lets you into prom wearing that thing.
What you need: Lots and lots of duct tape, which you must purchase yourself. You can use any brand in any colors, but the contest gods surely smile on Duck brand.
Send: A photograph of you and your partner in your duct tape regalia. You know, that photo that will follow you for the rest of your life. See Web site for rules and forms.
Deadline: June 7
So you know it's legit: stuckatprom.com
* * *
5 Scholar-Athlete Milk Mustache of the Year (SAMMY) Scholarship
Look good in a mustache? Now milk pays for tuition!
For: 25 seniors who've "got milk," and are willing to wear it.
Who's paying: America's milk processors.
How much you can mooch: $7,500 per student. If you win, your milk mustache picture will be printed in USA Today, not just mocked on Facebook.
What you need: A well-rounded career in sports, education, service and leadership. Applicants must "include milk as part of their healthy lifestyles."
Send: The full application will be posted in November, but you'll have to write a (whopping!) 75-word essay on the significance of milk in your life.
Deadline: Check back in November.
So you know it's legit: bodybymilk.com/sammy_scholarship