Chelsea Clinton is getting married and nobody here in the ETC. department of the St. Petersburg Times got an invitation? That can't be! What did we do wrong? (It was our stinging preview of the Vanilla Ice show last week, wasn't it? Sorry. Didn't know you were such a fan.)
The former first daughter is set to exchange "I do's" with banker Marc Mezvinsky on July 31 in Rhinebeck, N.Y., a Hudson Valley hamlet that is home to the regal Astor Courts estate, where the ceremony reportedly will take place.
But before Chelsea dons the traditional white gown, grabs Bill's arm and watches Hillary burst into tears, we'd like to bestow upon her a ceremonial title: "The Swan of White House Children." She came into 1600 Pennsylvania an awkward preteen and emerged eight years later as a beautiful, confident young woman. (We'll see you when you make own White House run a few years from now, Chelsea!)
While we're all in the matrimonial mood, here are other first children and the titles they're wed to, for better or for worse.
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Margaret Truman (1924 - 2008)
The only child of Harry S. Truman and Bess Truman, Margaret was a trained operatic singer who made her professional debut in 1947 in a radio broadcast that drew an estimated 15 million people. Her career got a nice boost when dear old dad wrote a nasty letter to the Washington Post's music critic after a lukewarm review appeared in the paper. "I have never met you, but if I do you'll need a new nose and plenty of beefsteak and perhaps a supporter below," the president wrote. Margaret later wrote two critically acclaimed biographies of her mother and father.
But don't forget: Steven Ford. The third child of Gerald and Betty Ford enjoyed a successful acting career with a long stint on TV's The Young and the Restless and minor roles in movies including Armageddon and When Harry Met Sally.
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John F. Kennedy Jr. (1960 - 1999)
What do we remember him most for? That adorable photo of him playing under dad's desk in the Oval Office ... playfully grabbing his mom's pearls ... "Sexiest Man Alive" ... the law school graduate who took the bar exam three times before passing it ... founder/gadfly of George magazine. Sadly, we probably also think of his salute at his father's funeral and that sad day in 1999 when a small plane he was piloting crashed off Martha's Vineyard. Nobody, it seems, can escape the Kennedy Curse.
But don't forget: Willie Lincoln (1850 - 1862). Said to be the most lovable of the children of Abraham Lincoln, his sudden death at age 11 sent Mary Todd Lincoln into complete mental despair.
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Malia and Sasha Obama
We're not just naming Malia and Sasha to this honor because their dad is the current leader of the free world, enabling him to send the Secret Service to turn our homes inside out just for fun. But this too-cute twosome seem like ordinary youngsters who like to squeal at the Jonas Brothers, shine in their JCrew fashions and watch a little Glee. There were even dolls made that resembled the pair - until Mom put the kibosh on that.
But don't forget: Nobody. Honest, Mr. President.
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So this girl who grows up in Texas and attends the party school/state university gets into a little trouble for having a fake ID and some other booze-related shenanigans. No big deal, right? It is when your dad is George W. Bush. (Imagine getting that dreaded phone call from home, except the caller ID reads "The White House.") It's safe to say Jenna Bush (Jenna Hager nowadays) enjoyed her college years like any other co-ed. And compared to relatively goody-two-shoes sister Barbara, she'll likely hold on to the title of Ultimate Evil Twin for many presidencies to come.
But don't forget: Ron Reagan Jr. He first turned heads after he quit Yale University to become a ballet dancer. After his dad left the White House, Ron was a regular host and contributor to political shows, displaying a decidedly liberal point of view.
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Hey, this is an entertainment page, so we have to give a high-five to our favorite portrayal of a White House kid. The honor goes to Waldron, who played Lucy Shepherd to "dad" Michael Douglas in 1995's An American President. Our fave line: "If you were a dork, you should say you're sorry. Girls like that." She's still a working actor today. Look for her later this summer in Cyrus.
But don't forget: Katie Holmes. Mrs. Tom Cruise played Samantha Mackenzie opposite Michael Keaton in 2004's First Daughter. It's not good enough to make you throw out your Dawson's Creek DVDs.
This report contains material from the New York Daily News, biography.com and IMDB.com.
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Top 5 weekend movies
1. Despicable Me, $61 million
2. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, $33.35 million
3. Predators, $25.3 million
4. Toy Story 3, $22 million
5. The Last Airbender, $17.15 million
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Top 5 prime-time TV shows
1. America's Got Talent, Wednesday (NBC)
2. America's Got Talent, Tuesday (NBC)
3. The Bachelorette (ABC)
4. NCIS (CBS)
5. Two and a Half Men (CBS)
Source: Nielsen Co., for week ending July 4
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Top 5 singles on iTunes
1. California Gurls (feat. Snoop Dogg), Katy Perry
2. Love the Way You Lie, Eminem
3. Dynamite, Taio Cruz
4. Airplanes (feat. Hayley Williams of Paramore), B.o.B.
5. Billionaire (feat. Bruno Mars), Travie McCoy
Source: iTunes Music Store
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Top 5 Yahoo search terms in Tampa Bay
1. Vienna Girardi
2. Tour de France
3. Lindsay Lohan
Suggest a Top 5 at email@example.com