MLB All-Star events, 8 p.m., ESPN: Tonight is the home run derby, which hasn't been the same since the steroid era ended. Boy, hypocrisy sure ruins the fun.
SEASON PREMIERE The Closer, 9 p.m., TNT: Brenda and her team move into new, modern digs. They should get a character who explains all the gadgets, then call him Q.
SERIES PREMIERE Rizzoli & Isles, 10 p.m., TNT: Angie Harmon, above, gets a new series as a detective working with a medical examiner, played by Sasha Alexander from NCIS, who is her best friend. Lorraine Bracco plays her mom, rounding out the trifecta for women from other shows we all liked and wanted to see again.
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MLB All-Star Game, 8 p.m., Fox Trivia: When was the last time the National League won the All-Star Game? Answer: 1996. That's okay, the NL still plays the purer form of the game, and therefore better.
SERIES PREMIERE Covert Affairs, 10 p.m., USA Piper Perabo stars as a CIA trainee who suddenly has to start working despite not even finishing her schooling. In this economy, that's how you know it's fictional.
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Lucy Must Be Traded, Charlie Brown, 8 p.m., ABC Lucy signs up for another season of dismal baseball on the Peanuts team. Try setting up an hourlong special detailing where she's going to go; that'll guarantee she joins another team.
2010 ESPYs, 9 p.m., ESPN Seth Myers hosts the 18th annual event. LeBron James wins best Benedict Arnold impersonation, hands down.
SEASON PREMIERE Psych, 10 p.m., USA You would think if Shawn was psychic, he'd be seeing these crimes before they happen. Maybe that's just us.
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SERIES PREMIERE Mary Knows Best, 9 p.m., SyFy A "docu-soap" about a psychic with three kids who have inherited her abilities. Why does one of them doubt mom's powers, then?
SERIES PREMIERE Fact or Faked: Paranormal Files, 10 p.m., SyFy Spoiler alert: They're all faked.
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The Jensen Project, 8 p.m., NBC Patricia Richardson, LeVar Burton and Kellie Martin star as a gang of geniuses out to improve the world. Don't be surprised if this becomes a series of its own come this fall.