In enacting a bestiality law, Florida lawmakers appear to have accidentally outlawed sex between humans in the state, according to SouthernFriedScientist.com. The site - which we at tbt* must confess to having never heard of previously - says the new law banning bestiality prohibits "knowing sexual conduct or sexual contact with an animal." Since humans are technically animals, consenting adults in Florida as of Oct. 1 will be banned from having sex unless their act conforms to "certain husbandry, conformation judging, and veterinary practices," the science blogger writes.
The posting was picked up by Gawker, Newsweek, Mother Jones and the Huffington Post, and has provoked much mirth. "Oh my God, You mean my husband and I have to call the vet now?'' commented one visitor to SouthernFriedScientist. "My miniature schnauzer keeps humping my leg. Is that illegal now? Can he be prosecuted? What's the penalty?'' wrote one Huffington Post reader.
Miami New Times tried to defuse the controversy by pointing out on its website that the bestiality law will become part of Chapter 828 of the state's law. Chapter 828 defines terms that appear in other statutes in the chapter. It says in part: In this chapter, and in every law of the state relating to or in any way affecting animals, the word "animal" shall be held to include every living dumb creature.
Of course, all that meant is that the blogosphere now has a new topic. From Gawker's comments section:
- "By that definition you could have sex with any tool using animal, or any animal that has a demonstrated communication ability. Crows, dolphins, apes and monkeys would be fair game. Who wrote this law?''
- "By definition, that still sounds like most humans I know, so..."