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HAIL TO THE SHEEN

Here's something you don't read every day: Charlie Sheen is going to play the president of the United States. That's right. Of America. But it's in the sequel to the Danny Trejo grindhouse awesomefest Machete, so that makes perfect sense. "I just cast Charlie Sheen in #machetekills as the President of the United States! Who better? More soon..." director Robert Rodriguez tweeted this week, the Hollywood Reporter says. Sheen retweeted the message and the actor's rep confirmed there were discussions ongoing. It's going to be pretty hard to tear him away from Anger Management, but Chuck may just find the time.

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Who's married now?

We haven't seen or heard a whole lot from actor Giovanni Ribisi since he played the selfish bureaucrat in Avatar three years ago, but now he has movies Ted and Gangster Squad coming out. Oh, and he just married model Agyness Deyn. Huhsaywha? It's true, the Huffington Post says: "Agyness Deyn and Giovanni Ribisi quietly married in Los Angeles over the weekend," his rep tells them. They were spotted in line at the L.A. County Registrar's Office and admitted to the Crown City News they were getting married. It's the first marriage for the Brit, 29, but the second for Ribisi, 37, who has a daughter named Lucia with ex-wife Mariah O'Brien, whom he divorced in 2001.

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'Hell' freezes over

First he revealed The Simpsons was based on his hometown of Portland, Ore. (and not Springfield, Ore., you nitwits; he was saying he took the name from there), and now Matt Groening is ending his comic strip Life in Hell after 24 years. Next thing you know, The Simpsons will finally make a movie. Wait, what? "I've had great fun, in a Sisyphean kind of way, but the time has come to let Binky and Sheba and Bongo and Akbar and Jeff take some time off," the 58-year-old emailed the Poynter Institute in St. Petersburg about the strip. The final strip appeared last Friday, but syndication customers will be able to run whatever they like from the archives until he shuts down the generators for good on July 13.

- jgillin@tampabay.com

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