1. Archive



Me at the Zoo, 9 p.m., HBO A documentary about the fleeting nature of Internet celebrity, starring Chris Crocker, the "Leave Britney Alone" guy, of whom no one has spoken about since 2008.

Lost Girl, 10 p.m., SyFy The sister of the first person Bo ever killed shows up looking for revenge. As if Bo doesn't have anything better to do than kill off an entire family.

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The Real Housewives of Orange County, 9 p.m., Bravo Alexis' husband crashes a party to fight with Heather's husband. Finally, we see the undercard of this neverending reality show bout.

SERIES PREMIERE Craft Wars, 10 p.m., TLC Tori Spelling hosts a show that somehow militarizes people making quilts or whatever. Just because they're competing doesn't make it a war, TLC.

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Dallas, 9 p.m., TNT After watching for a couple weeks, you should know by now whether you like this pale imitation of the original. Change the channel.

Royal Pains, 9 p.m., USA Any episode featuring Henry Winkler is worth watching. It's better than Dallas, at any rate.

Around the World in 80 Plates, 10 p.m., Bravo With Hong Kong foodie Alvin Leung, known as the Demon Chef. We didn't know his food was that spicy.

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SERIES PREMIERE Twenty Twelve,9 p.m., BBC America A mockumentary with Downton Abbey's Hugh Bonneville as a coordinator for the London Olympics who has to deal with all sorts of nonsense. It seems funny, but we wouldn't be surprised to learn everything was true.

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Whale Wars, 9 p.m., Animal Planet The Brigitte Bardot's crew must abandon ship from all the damage, which they really should expect when they go blocking giant whaling vessels.

Say Yes to the Dress, 9:30 p.m., TLC Two episodes tonight, including a woman shopping 90 days before her wedding another shopping after she lost 50 pounds. It's kind of a worst-case/best-case sort of evening.