Dancing With the Stars, 8 p.m., ABC
This season is more nuts than usual. First, cancer patient and delightful human being Valerie Harper was voted off in the third week (no sympathy vote, people?!), and last week, actual great dancer Christina Milian was sent home after scoring the first 10 of the season. Plus, thanks to the show, we officially like Snooki, who's been nothing short of adorable this season. So, yeah, something bizarre is going on.
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Parks and Recreation, 8 p.m., NBC
If you missed guest star Tatiana Maslany show up last week as Tom's (Aziz Ansari) new girlfriend, tonight is your last chance to see her and find out what all that Orphan Black fuss was about.
The Michael J. Fox Show, 9:30 p.m., NBC
We're trying to fall in love with you, Michael J. Fox Show, but you're making it hard for us to think of you as anything other than a friend. You're just too nice, too safe, too old-fashioned - we're missing that spark. We know you've got it in you! You've got a great cast, great star power, and the dialogue's not awful. So dig down and find something to keep us interested - because we're finding it hard to commit.
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SERIES PREMIERE Dracula, 10 p.m., NBC
Vampires? Ugh, so two years ago. At least this one is played by Jonathan Rhys Meyers (last seen on TV in Showtime's The Tudors), who was practically born to play a pale, creepy creature in 19th-century London. Still, the show will have to do something surprising to overcome two TV tropes we are totally sick of: gore and period pieces.
SEASON PREMIERE The Carrie Diaries, 8 p.m., CW
A young Samantha Jones (Lindsey Gort) joins the cast this season, when Carrie (AnnaSophia Robb) meets her while spending the summer in Manhattan. Really curious to see what kind of situations young Sam gets into, since not one of grown-up Samantha's hobbies are appropriate to show on a family-friendly network.
SEASON PREMIERE Grimm, 9 p.m., NBC
Apparently NBC's official programming strategy is: Let's release any and all spooky shows near Halloween! We see right through you, peacock. Appropriately, Grimm is back for its third season tonight with lots of zombie problems. Insert obligatory Walking Dead reference here.
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Cupcake Wars, 8 p.m., Food
What's Rob Zombie been up to lately? Apparently not much. He's judging this Halloween-themed cupcake competition, in which the bakers will have to incorporate some spicy ingredients. Because when we think of Rob Zombie, we think of dainty baked goods.