1. Archive



SEASON PREMIERE Kitchen Nightmares, 8 p.m., Fox Gordon Ramsay returns to Amy's Baking Co., the scene of his glaring failure. Will he walk out again? Now that would make Amy's a real Hell's Kitchen.

Hawaii Five-0, 9 p.m., CBS McGarrett and Danny are trapped inside an abandoned building rigged to explode. Uh, Cook 'em, Danno?

Hannibal, 10 p.m., NBC Will is finally released from the asylum after evidence exonerates him as the Chesapeake Ripper/Copycat Killer. We repeat ourselves: Maybe the FBI should consider a certain gourmand psychiatrist.

Tanked, 10 p.m., Animal Planet The show is in Florida this week to build a 10-foot-high, 15-foot-long tank shaped like a pipeline wave in a seafood restaurant. But wait, there's more! The show will be back in the Sunshine State for the episode airing May 16, when they'll build a 33,500-gallon snorkel aquarium for St. Pete Beach's new Guy Harvey RumFish restaurant.

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SEASON FINALE Ripper Street, 9 p.m., BBC America More corpses are found in a slum tenement. Well, at least the impact on the value of the property will probably be negligible.

Bermuda Tentacles, 9 p.m., Syfy Hey, Syfy, maybe now's not the best time to air a movie about a plane that goes missing at sea, and the monster that may have devoured it.

Dave Attell: Road Work, midnight, Comedy Central What's filthier than an all-new special featuring America's favorite Insomniac? How about ...

Comedy Underground With Dave Attell, 1 a.m., Comedy Central uncensored standup show featuring Attell, Amy Schumer and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. You're gonna have to wash your ears out with soap.

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MTV Movie Awards, 9 p.m., MTV Fifty-year-old Harvard grad Conan O'Brien seems like a curious choice to hand out awards like Best Shirtless Performance and Best Scared as S**t Performance. Maybe Dick Cavett wasn't available?

SEASON PREMIERE Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown, 9 p.m., CNN Punjab, India, tops Bourdain's latest itinerary of cities in which to lounge around, smoke and look cool.

SEASON PREMIERE Nurse Jackie, 9 p.m., Showtime At the end of Season 5, Jackie fell off the wagon. But considering this show was just picked up for another season beyond this one, we're guessing the wagon didn't leave her too far behind.

SEASON PREMIERE Californication, 9:30 p.m., Showtime There are only 12 new episodes left? Oh, no! How will we ever be able to watch David Duchovny have sex with things?!

SERIES PREMIERE Years of Living Dangerously, 10 p.m., Showtime This slick environmental documentary series lets Hollywood A-listers report on hot-button issues related to climate change around the world, including Harrison Ford investigating deforestation in Indonesia. We're down with that, as long as he doesn't come across any crystal skulls.

SEASON PREMIRE Morgan Spurlock: Inside Man, 10 p.m., CNN Spurlock goes inside the world of paparazzi to investigate why America is so fascinated by celebrity culture, and ... hey, how come no one is shooting paparazzi video of the Super Size Me guy over here? Jerks.

SEASON PREMIERE Mad Men, 10 p.m., AMC We're inching closer to the '70s. You can tell by all the sideburn hair and mustard-yellow carpet fuzz covering every character's wardrobe.