I’m not saying that the unholy flirtation between Gus and Nilsa summoned a demon that possessed a bench inside downtown St. Petersburg’s Pelican Pub, ultimately burning customers’ skin with its evil powers.
I’m not saying that.
I’m just going to lay out some facts.
In the latest episode of Floribama Shore, Gus reclines on the heavily graffitied wooden bench that used to run along the back wall of the Pelican Pub. He has a big talk with Nilsa about where they stand, now that Gus has been single for 24 hours. They make eyes at each other, but Gus says he just wants to be friends, “for now.”
This scene was filmed in June.
In September, news broke that close to 60 people who had visited the Pelican Pub since around June had found each other via Facebook to say that they’d all suffered a lingering and unsightly rash on their arms and legs. Many of those who broke out with the rash said they had sat on that same bench.
The case of the Pelican Pub rash was never definitively solved. Was it bedbugs? Was it something used to wipe down the bench? Was it a Gilsa demon?
Unfortunately, we don’t have a photo of Gus and Nilsa on the bench, but here’s one of Candace and Jeremiah on the bench. And I’m not ruling out Jeremiah’s backwards hat as the culprit either.
I’ve wasted a lot of words already, so I’m going to speed through the rest of what happened this week:
• Gus was sad about breaking up with Lisa.
• Lisa threatened to exploit her knowledge of Gus’ personal life by calling TMZ.
• The pet hermit crab from the season premiere is still alive. Yay!
• The gang rode the Pedal Pub. Aimee said, “If I was to go to hell this is what I’d be doing,” and I have never agreed with Aimee more.
• Aimee made Nilsa a signup sheet that said, “Be Nilsa’s boyfriend,” and a “personal trainer” named Cole signed it. Nilsa brought Cole home.
• Gus brought Alyssa from Ferg’s home. I know we haven’t introduced Alyssa yet, but just go with it.
• Codi, the Wizard of Drama, held his head in his hands and said, “I think this is a bad idea.” Always listen to Codi in these matters.
• Cole said, “Florida dudes are straight garbage.” Gus replied that “Tennessee dudes are trash.” They shoved each other until the off-camera security guys stepped in and broke it up.
• Jeremiah was going outside to talk to Cole. Gus said if Jeremiah was going to “comfort” Cole, then “I’m done with you too," which brought back the return of raging Hulk Jeremiah and his scary pumpkin pecs as he screamed, “COME AT ME, B---H!”
Other local stuff spotted: Crafty Squirrel, Saigon Blonde, Caddy’s on Central, paper straws used to drink entire pitchers of something blue.