Grab the antacids. It’s almost Florida State Fair season, and you know what that means: new horrifying ways to dip, dunk, sugar-coat and deep-fry foods. No dish — sweet or savory — is safe.
The Florida State Fair’s mystifying new roster of creative cuisines will debut on the event’s opening day, Feb 6. Guests will also be able to sample food and drinks from across the fairgrounds during the first Fair Foodie Crawl on Feb. 13.
Now, onto the new food:
Cheesy Tater Corn Dog
Do you like corn dogs? Do you like cheese hot dogs? What about tater tots? Here they all are, Frankensteined together, on a stick. There are no rules here. Find it at Best Around.
Speaking of things on a stick, how about a cheeseburger? This angus beef patty is dunked in a “secret batter” before being deep fried and draped with swirls of warm cheddar cheese sauce. Find it at DeAnna’s Diner.
This sweet dessert mashup answers the question, “What if a funnel cake was an Oreo?” Two chocolate funnel cakes are glued together with a sweet cream filling. Find it at Best Around.
Sweet Heat Jalapeño Ice Cream
Listen, it’s 2020. You don’t have to choose between hot and cold anymore. You can get chocolate and jalapeño ice cream flavors in the same cup, if you feel so inclined. Find it at Coolicious Treats.
No, not the waxy Halloween staple candy. This is a mix of popcorn, coated with banana, bubble gum, raspberry and green apple flavors. Find it at Pence’s Carmel Corn.
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S’mores on a Stick
This may actually be the most efficient way to eat a s’more: as a giant marshmallow on a stick, dipped in chocolate and graham cracker pieces. Find it at Pence’s Carmel Corn.
Peanut Butter Ramen Burger
This 1/4 pound burger is topped with bacon and a peanut-butter vinaigrette Chow Mein Asian Slaw...crammed between two Ramen noodle buns. A photo was not provided, so you’ll have to use your imagination for this one. Find it at Carousel Foods.
Hawaiian Jerk Chicken Pizza
A pizza with white garlic sauce is loaded with jerk chicken, pineapple, ham and mozzarella cheese. You can get it by the slice or as a whole pie to share. Find it at Angela’s Pizza.
Steak N Eggs Sundae
Is this breakfast? Dessert? Who knows how to categorize it. French fries are topped with warm cheese, sour cream, bacon, cheese grits, a fried egg and sirloin steak. Find it at DeAnna’s Steak Sundaes.
Cajun Chili Cheese Fries
The foundation of this dish: cajun fries. Good luck locating them under the pile of hot sauce, cheese, grilled onions, beef chili con carne, jalapeno slices and parmesan cheese. Find it at DeAnna’s Steak Sundaes.
Strawberry Lemonade Shortcake Sundae
Fresh strawberry slices, lemonade frosting and homemade whipped cream top cinnamon sugar donut chunks to create this sundae. Find it at DeAnna’s Steak Sundaes.
Piña Colada Candy Apple
Hold the caramel. This candy apple is encased in a crunchy piña colada candy shell and an optional coconut topping. Find it at The Apple Cart.
Cheesy Sriracha Funnel Cake Bites
These deep-fried cheesy chunks of funnel cake are smothered in four cheeses and chives. Diners can choose from three dipping sauces: Sriracha aioli, ranch or garlic butter. Find it at Out of this World Funnel Cakes.
What are you looking forward to trying? Which dish terrifies you most? Let us know in the comments.
IF YOU GO
Florida State Fair: $11-$14, $9 seniors, $6-$8 children; $20-$30 armbands. Gates open at 10 a.m. Monday-Thursday and 9 a.m. Friday-Sunday through Feb. 17. Florida State Fairgrounds, 4802 U.S. 301 N, Tampa. (813) 621-7821.