People magazine this week dubbed Channing Tatum (who at least starred in the remake of 21 Jump Street!) as its "Sexiest Man Alive" for 2012. That's all well and good, but we're stuck in the '80s.
So who did People dub as the sexiest men alive in the '80s? In 2009, I decided to look up the list, and since it hasn't changed in the last three years, I can fill you in ... with half the list, since the magazine began the annual coronation in 1985 with none other than Mad Max!
MEL GIBSON (1985): Remember when Mad Mel just made great movies? Beyond Thunderdome! Tequila Sunrise! Lethal Weapon! We even get teary at The Bounty. Still, Mel told People back in '85 he felt uneasy as a celebrity, saying, "It's all happening too fast." Don't worry, Mel. Something tells me your career will have slowed down in the decades (and public meltdowns) to come.
MARK HARMON (1986): We'd like to say it was for Summer School, but the former UCLA quarterback-turned actor didn't do that flick until 1987. Instead, he caught attention in '86 for his work on St. Elsewhere and Moonlighting. He still burns up the small screen today on NCIS.
HARRY HAMLIN (1987): Forget L.A Law -- to us Hamlin will always be Perseus in Clash of the Titans. (Okay, okay. We were addicted to L.A. Law too.) "Certainly when I look in the mirror, I don't get turned on,'' he told People in '87. ''It's not something I spend a lot of time considering." They could have used your help in the new Titans franchise, Harry!
JOHN F. KENNEDY JR. (1988): Yes, once upon a time, you could actually make People's list without being an actor. Imagine that. JFK Jr. was just 27 when he landed on People's list. At the time, People chose to quote model Audra Avizienis, who had dated the JFK's son, "He has this quiet sadness. There's something pensive and sad about him." Indeed, it all ended in sadness on July 16, 1999.
SEAN CONNERY (1989): Hey, James Bond, what are you prepared to do?!? Give us a break. Connery was sooo much cooler as Jimmy Malone in The Untouchables, always ready to bring a gun to a knife fight. In '89, Connery was almost 60 years old. People quoted his memorable reaction: "For once, I'm speechless. It'll all be downhill from here!''
See the covers from every year here.